Some introverts might be happier without getting coupled up the way society tells us we should. Read More
I was single and really hadn't dated more than a handful of times in my early twenties. It wasn't that I wanted to be on my own. I wanted to be with certain women, but just didn't have to self confidence to get into a relationship and make it work. Then, at a time when I had really detached form the world, my wife came along, essentially opened me up, took a good look and liked what she saw, and before you knew it, we were living with each other. Seven years late we were married. She was quite beatiful and very compassionate. She validated me. Yes, there were some adjustments, but the rewards we found through a long term marriage have been remarkable. For me, I'm very glad I didn't shut my eyes to the possiblility of findinf a life partner. That's just me, and I know we're all different. Glenn
I take classes, go to church, volunteer.
No one accepts my invitations to meet afterwards. No one wants to be friends outside work.
I've slowly grown to hate the world.
Jean-Paul Sartre thought the same way. Trust me: people are overrated.
No dog, tree or amoeba ever did to Phoebe Prince or Tyler Clementi what PEOPLE did and still do today. Hitler wasn't a duckbill platypus either.
I'm a classic introvert and some of the reasons I wont ever settle down with someone is.
1) I'm too selfish and like my space
2) I cant be around people 24/7
3) I dont want problems and arguments that come with relationships
4) I like to do stuff myself
5) I dont "need" a partner to feel secure
6) I've too high a standards
7) I dont like the feeling of belonging to anyone
Being perennially unwed sure hasn't harmed George Clooney.
And I judge Clooney by his achievements as an actor, filmmaker and philanthropist, which includes twice contracting Malaria from humanitarian work overseas. I don't label/judge the man by his marital status (or lack thereof).
Yup, that sounds about right. I kind of like the "idea" of being with someone but as with so many other things in life, the reality is little like the concept and ends up being nothing but a pain in the backside!
those are my top reasons too. I can live alone for the rest of my life as long as I have a computer, books, tv, and the ability to exercise.
Interesting that my husband and I, both introverts, kind of just fell into "living alone together" quite naturally from the beginning of our relationship by having our own rooms and routines. Sometimes I think we might not even have married if it weren't for the cultural and parental pressure. My mom would cry when I told her I don't think I want to get married. I do love my partner and enjoy the companionship, just not all or even most of the time. Without the pressure I think we may have just been really close friends.
I am not the only one! my boyfriend and I of 9 years ( don't really want to get married ) also live in the same house but separate bedrooms.
Anyone who marries just to fit into societal norms is courting disaster. And to have kids for the same reason is bordering on criminal! Think and decide for yourselves, people; this isn't junior high school...
While I agree with your statement, it makes too much sense for the general public.
He doesn't want to live with anyone, yet he still dates? Has he told these dates this? Most people eventually want to end up living together if not married and if he doesn't tell them how he feels then he could be stringing someone along. Though I suppose most women would feel that 'with the right person' (i.e. them) he would change his mind.
I am 58 and have never been married. I believe the reason is that, as a shy introvert who grew up with very little recognition of or support for who I was, I didn't know how to put my real self out into the world. So I never made a connection I believed was working well enough to commit for life. I know many people love being single and/or childless. I am not one of them, although of course I have adjusted.
I loved your book when I read it three months ago. I consider myself an introvert and have never really had much interest in a lot of guys. I have talked to guys and dated them, but nothing really serious. I have even been asked if I was gay because I didn't flirt a lot. There has only been one man in my entire life that I would say that I really loved. I have some high standards for who I really allow into my life on a deeper level. Men have thought that we were dating when in fact I was just hanging out, thought we were flirting when I was just having a good time. I try to be careful about leading a guy on due to this. When I marry, it will be because I love him and he loves me. It will be because we have forged a relationship on friendship and respect. Introvert or extrovert, I think that friendship is the best foundation for any relationship. I am completely content being single; I want a companion and a relationship where I have a little more autonomy. Hopefully that is in the cards for me... I don't mind sharing my house or money or whatever, I just need him to be trustworthy.
I am just like this guy. I don't really enjoy dating and would rather be alone than having to deal with the hassles of meeting someone new that will potentially not understand my wants and needs.
I am 28 and have only dated 2 guys. the first I dated for 5 years ( high school sweet heart) and then I dated another guy for 1 year. The last guy could not connect with due to the fact that I am an extreme introvert. I have now re kindled with my high school sweet heart and after 2 years of somewhat being together ( I think we never really made it official because we are both introverted and don't want to have the norm relationship) we finally moved in. It only took 14 years of being best friends for us to finally decide this. We have experience with each other now and live in separate bedrooms and do things on alone. It seems to work , although living alone is still preferable at times
I'm very low in extroversion. I do love people, but too much interaction drains me. I was married once, and my husband was much more extroverted than me. This caused quite a bit of conflict in our relationship. I would like to get remarried if I ever find the right guy, but I would still prefer to maintain separate households. I've actually heard of some married couples doing this. I'm sure many people wonder, "well, what's the point of getting married if you don't want to live together," but to me, this sounds like an ideal arrangement. I would still love, care for, and support this person unconditionally and forever. But both of us would keep our personal space and privacy, and the marriage could maintain its spark and mystery. Win, win! :)
After going through a divorce 17 years ago, I was lonely and miserable. After some time had passed, however, I decided I was going to be happy regardless of my marital status. Now I can honestly say that I have embraced my single status and absolutely love it! I went on a few dates recently and found it awkward and exhausting and broke things off very quickly, even though he wanted to continue dating. I have discovered that I am very careful about how I spend my time, choosing to spend it with family, at church and volunteering. During my long-ago marriage I was busy raising my children and the rest of time was spent according to my husbands wishes, which usually meant socializing. Now I call the shots! Ironically, all four of my sons took after me and are introverts, not like my ex and his family who are extreme extroverts. Not saying I will never remarry, but I would have to meet a really amazing man to get me to give up my peace and quiet
I am in a commited relationship and not at all contemplating moving in with my significant other. We both enjoy our alone time, we both need our own space. Our individuality is one of the things that makes our relationship such a fulfilling one. It's been working perfectly for over a year. Let's see how it develops.
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Sophia Dembling is a widely published Dallas, Texas-based writer. Her latest book is The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World.
Who says marriage is where desire goes to die?