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I have been ever-so-gently chided for not posting more often. Guilty. I've been busy, and because I have no deadlines here, it just fell off the schedule. Read More
Fellow Blogging Introvert
Ugh - I have this same problem from time to time as well. It certainly doesn't help that I NEED to update my website/blog regularly to help get the word out about my 2 books ... etc. Sometimes, you just don't feel like talking or you don't have anything relevant to say, but that doesn't drive folks to a website :(
Introvert Blogging
Yes, an introvert blogging . . . about introversion, is subtly ironic.
As my blog features quotes and thoughts meant to inspire teachers, I am able to keep a couple of resources handy to prime the pump.
A previous blog, now discontinued, was more dependent on my thoughts. It became an albatross.
Relax. We are happy for what we get. I have shared your blog with some high school students who are introverted.
Good post...loved it!
Great post.
Many people think that the sheer frequency of tweets (for example) determine introversion and extroversion. It's somewhat stupid.
I tweet a lot. I love to share information. However, I am doing that from a computer in a solitary room in pure peace and quiet. I can choose whom I actually converse with online. Plus, I tweet regarding my industry (photography) and my educational/personal interest (psychology). Still...from a quiet room where I can walk away at any time. I keep many people hidden on my personal Facebook as some I just don't have the heart to delete. I keep my personal profile friends list low. While many I know exceed 1000, I am barely over 200. I blog often but that is not an exhibition of extroversion in my opinion. I keep a Facebook fan page to share my work (photog), but also can choose when and how often. Sometimes I do walk away from social media and take a break when the "noise" gets too high.
In person, I like solitude A LOT, or quiet times with 1-2 friends max. I am an INTJ. Simply because I send tweets though, people ASSume I am an extrovert and immediately want to be their best friend after 2 tweets or girlfriend after 7. Some people do take this ridiculously clingy and over the top approach to social media, which is tiring.
FB is a great tool for me as an introvert
Before I joined Facebook, well meaning extrovert friends would call to check in with me and want to chat for hours. I would get guilt-laden e-mails about how no one ever heard from me. It was annoying. I felt "hunted."
But now? If I just "like" a status every so often or post "Aw - feel better!" if someone is posting about how sick they are, they feel the love and I don't get guilt trips from them! Every few weeks I post a status update - usually something along the lines of "I just ate the most perfectly delicious avocado that was ever perfect or delicious!" or "Swam 1 continuous mile at the gym today!" It lets people picture my day and tells them what I am up to so they don't call and say "Whatcha doin? Whatcha thinkin?"
I can read and respond at my leisure and every so often I even send a message to someone "Hi! Thinking of you! Hope this finds you happy and well!" My extrovert friends feel loved and I am not stressed!
FB is a great tool for me as an introvert
Before I joined Facebook, well meaning extrovert friends would call to check in with me and want to chat for hours. I would get guilt-laden e-mails about how no one ever heard from me. It was annoying. I felt "hunted."
But now? If I just "like" a status every so often or post "Aw - feel better!" if someone is posting about how sick they are, they feel the love and I don't get guilt trips from them! Every few weeks I post a status update - usually something along the lines of "I just ate the most perfectly delicious avocado that was ever perfect or delicious!" or "Swam 1 continuous mile at the gym today!" It lets people picture my day and tells them what I am up to so they don't call and say "Whatcha doin? Whatcha thinkin?"
I can read and respond at my leisure and every so often I even send a message to someone "Hi! Thinking of you! Hope this finds you happy and well!" My extrovert friends feel loved and I am not stressed!
November post
Amen! I agree 100%.
Keeping My Mouth Shut
Like you, I'm not fond of writing on my blog when I have nothing to say. This is probably the biggest reason why my blog does not produce nearly the amount of traffic that other sites have. I can't come up with enough posts that are interesting enough to me to share with everyone else.
There is definitely nothing wrong with you not wanting to write more on your blog. I will still follow you regardless of how often you post.
The grieving introvert
I <3 your blog.
Here is topic...I lost my mom to a brain cancer 9 months ago, which was diagnosed 4 days before it took her life. I'm 19 and a very introverted college student who was completely blindsided. I feel like I'm being swallowed up by the loss of my best friend...could you write about how introverts grieve and the best ways to help us, or better yet, how we can help ourselves? I finally decided to see a therapist here at school...life still feels meaningless. Anything would help. Thanks.
condolences and thoughts
I am so sorry to hear about your loss--and so sudden and unexpected. Although my parents were elderly, I lost them both within two years of each other not too long ago, and I know that losing parents has an impact that cannot be explained or understood until you have experienced it. It's deep and world-changing.
I will have to think about it as a larger topic but I do think seeing a therapist is a great decision. Here's why I think so: As introverts, we often are not comfortable just babbling away (even if it's important babble) to people who may or may not care/get it. A therapist's job is to listen to you--you are not imposing on him or her, s/he will never be bored or complain if you repeat yourself, will not think anything you say is silly or self-indulgent, and will help draw you out when you hit a wall talking. This is one place where completely indulging in yourself and your feelings is the right thing to do--it's not self-centered or boring or any of the other things we fear about chatter.
I think enlisting the help of a therapist is the closest thing possible to a short cut through the grief. But it will take time, nothing can change that. Believe it or not, nine months is not a long time. My mom died in late '06 and my dad in early '09 and I'm still dealing with complicated emotions. I am no longer in therapy, but therapy definitely helped me over a long rocky stretch.
Another thing: I lost a brother many years ago, and when I was deep in that grief, a close friend told me that she felt shut out, that she wanted to help me or at least be there for me, but I wasn't letting her. So you might take a look around at people who might be trying to reach you without success. Let people help you in whatever way they can or you can think of. It's good for you, it's good for them, it's good for your relationships.
Again, my sympathy for your terrible loss.
I am sorry for your loss
Being an introvert, I am not usually one to jump on these things but I do believe I have something to say that may help you. I am an RN and I have learned a lot about the grief process through seeing the losses of others and my own losses. My mother passed in 01 and she was only 54...I watched her die. Now, in 2011, I think I may be starting to come out of my grief process. It has been lengthy in large part due to my extended denial phase I think.
This is what I have learned. Everyone grieves differently and everyone has different needs from friends and loved ones when they grieve. My pain was so all consuming that I could not even crack the door to let anyone else in for fear of drowning in my own grief. People who love you, naturally, want to help you and it is very tough to know what to do. You can help them and yourself by telling them how they can help you...i.e "I know this is difficult for you too and that you really want to help me but what I need from you right now is...." The best thing, in my opinion, that you can do for yourself is ALLOW yourself to grieve in your own way. Allow yourself to be angry, hurt, sad etc. and to really let yourself feel these emotions no matter how painful. Don't put a time limit on your grief...it is not the same for everyone and every loss. Just tell yourself that you are grieving in your own way and for however long it takes and that's OK!
Sorry to hear you have lost
Sorry to hear you have lost both parent and a sibling, I can't yet imagine that time in my life, nor do I want to. I have three older brothers, can't fathom the idea of living without any of them.
My therapist is helping me. Like you said, introverts don't typically babble to their friends about feelings (or at least I don't). I don't feel like I'm putting a burden on anyone because she's getting paid to listen to me. It's still not natural but I'm getting better.
I definitely have been shutting friends out but I just can't stand to be around them sometimes. I do enjoy getting the occasional encouraging note from them, though. Perhaps I shouldn't isolate myself to the max...
Thanks for replying to my comment.
More extraverted online
Like you, I'm on Facebook just about all day long. I like seeing what's going on in friends' lives without having to talk on the phone and carrying on running commentaries on others' walls about the things we like to talk about while ignoring what I want to ignore. I'm far more expressive and outgoing online than I am in the "real" world...but as you said, I don't leave my introversion behind.
re: online "authenticity"...
Being somewhat of the cerebral "introvert" persuasion myself, I do appreciate the online opportunities to "express myself" re: lots of assorted eccentric interests, sans worrying about anyone's disapproval (or worse, their boredom)! But considering how often we all seem to encounter the "troll" phenomenon these days, and in nearly every online venue (especially in politics), actually it's kinda disturbing to think that so many of these virulent online personas may really be some folks' most "authentic" selves!
I love the title of this
I love the title of this article! It's such a succinct explanation.
I was the last of my friends to join FB. It was exactly what I thought it would be -- overwhelming and exhausting. I didn't see much difference between online interaction and face-to-face interaction. Perhaps it was more intensified on FB, because more people see your communications and even comment on it in real life. Geez! I said "I bid you adieu!" after a couple of months on there. This was a few years ago...
I really wanted to get back on there, so I did! I don't have a single online friend, and I love it! I go on there just to keep up with my fave groups and authors and occasionally post on their pages. = )
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