The Introvert's Corner

If I remember correctly, the scans showed increased activity in the brains of introverts when they were alone. There was less activity in the brains of the extroverts when they were alone, but the activity increased with social interaction.

I've been trying to locate studies like that. I found one out of Australia but would like to discuss it with a researcher or two in order to fully understand it and its credibility.

Sophia, thank you for making me feel so validated with my introversion! I feel like I finally understand why I feel sucked dry in some venues (house and dinner parties with mostly strangers - or worse: a networking event) when you qualified the shallow connections as "butterfly relationships." I couldn't agree more! I've always avoided these venues for this reason but didn't understand why until now. Starting today I will make a conscious effort to regulate my energy and save it for the authentic connections I crave.

One of the skills I'm trying to develop is not asking questions if I don't really care about the answers. I am not required to make everyone feel good about themselves by showing interest. I find that saves a huge amount of energy for those people I do find interesting.

The very term "networking event" makes my blood run cold. I do them, but ick.

I think i have developed a slight habit related to this. It is kind of like the 'something out of nothing' idea. Occasionally i might start a small debate on a technacality or a casual opinion on something simple to evoke a deeper connection to get the equal energy out of the other people participating in the conversation. Sometimes it works and other times i just end up frustrated.

I think i have developed a slight habit related to this. It is kind of like the 'something out of nothing' idea. Occasionally i might start a small debate on a technacality or a casual opinion on something simple to evoke a deeper connection to get the equal energy out of the other people participating in the conversation. Sometimes it works and other times i just end up frustrated.

I wonder if this energy-loss is a part of why I feel so tired after school. Getting up early and going to sleep late is certainly part of it, but I wonder if this emotional energy-loss could translate into physical tiredness as well.

I really like the idea of energy-return for energy-spent. I definately feel this. I can be really energized and excited while having a meaningfull discussion with a friend, while I have long known that I dislike investing at all in a conversation/relationship that I know is only momentary. I'm happy to share both trivial and deep things with people I truely care about, but even sharing the trivial with mere aquaintances strikes me as pointless effort. For example: Whether I enjoyed my turkey sandwich today means at least something to someone who actually cares about my well being and experience of life, but to some random person in line at the sandwich shop or a co-worker, talking about sandwiches just seems like a waste when I could be thinking about something more interesting in my head, or reading, or enjoying a moment of mental quiet while staring deeply into the beige wall.

Something I've contemplated in relation to the introvert/extrovert energy idea is that it's not just that my energy is drained from being with people, but that a vital source of energy for me is something else which I can't be plugged into when socializing. As much as I may enjoy having great conversations with my close friends, I often find after a long conversation that I feel empty in regards to my sense of satisfaction and accomplishment for the day. Even fun, deep conversation, though engaging at the moment, feels like a waste of time in the end. All the enjoyment of friendship and the momentary high of good conversation doesn't register on my satisfaction gage - or if it does it's very miniscule. It sounds bad, but I hate days where I've done nothing but have a great time with my friends, because I come home feeling a nagging emptiness of meaning or accomplishment. I usually have to stay up and purposefully work on one of my personal projects in order to feel satisfied enough to go to sleep.

I find that in order to maintain a sense of well being I need to spend significant time investing myself in thought or creativity. It's not just being alone, but the things I can do while I'm alone that I need. The things I like to do are not very communal efforts, like reading, drawing, writing, so even if I do them while others are present, I'm not generally engaging with people, and it's a lot easier to really get into the flow when there isn't the distraction of having other people around. This puts me in mind of your post about the things that Introverts find fun. It certainly makes sense that we would feel dragged down when denied or distracted from the things we find fun in life.

It seems to me from observing friends that extraverts seem to draw a lot of their sense of self from the people they spend time with and their relationships, whereas introverts I think draw much more of their sense of self from personal endeavors and thoughts within themselves. I feel like that is the root of the idea of 'peer pressure' and why introverts can't understand why they get picked on for being different. It seems like extraverts really need the people around them to reflect themselves or they feel uncomfortable and conflicted, or that they look to others to help them define who they are. Whereas my introverted friends and I have often commiserated about people not being able to just let us be different and move on. I never understood how other people doing something could make someone want to do it too. I always knew exactly what I liked or thought apart from whatever people told me. I liked sharing my interests, but when I met with someone who thought differently than me it didn't make me reconsider myself, nor make me wish to convert them, it just made me reconsider how much time I wanted to spend with them. It's almost like extraverts discover and access their interests through other people, while introverts discover and access people through their interests - they each have a different base or starting point. As for myself, I don't just feel like I've lost energy, but I actually feel like I've lost touch with myself, like I'm not fully living, when I spend too much time interacting with others, and too little time tending my root - that is, my interests. Does this make any sense?

A great thing to watch to showcase how introverts and the like are treated by the extraverted majority in power, is the Star Trek: Voyager episode Pathfinder. Heck, watch ALL episodes of Star Trek starring Dwight Schultz as Reginald Barclay; it's a sad thing to see that even in the 24th century (where supposedly all forms of discrimination have been eliminated), if you are "weird" you will be treated as a second-class citizen, will never be respected, will be judged because you are more interested in problem-solving and thinking rather than small-talking and other irrelevancy... EVEN WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF SCIENCE AND ENGINEERING!

A great thing to watch to showcase how introverts and the like are treated by the extraverted majority in power, is the Star Trek: Voyager episode Pathfinder. Heck, watch ALL episodes of Star Trek starring Dwight Schultz as Reginald Barclay; it's a sad thing to see that even in the 24th century (where supposedly all forms of discrimination have been eliminated), if you are "weird" you will be treated as a second-class citizen, will never be respected, will be judged because you are more interested in problem-solving and thinking rather than small-talking and other irrelevancy... EVEN WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF SCIENCE AND ENGINEERING!