Recently I found myself in a disagreement with a Special Ed teacher whom I like and respect. I had trained one of the aides in her classroom (as a consultant to her school system, this is one of the things I am asked to do) to not forcefully turn an autistic child's head when he does not respond to a request for eye contact.

"But then we are training kids to ignore us," she said, passionately. "The data doesn't support what you are saying."

I responded by talking about requesting eye contact when the child is motivated so he will be more likely to look when asked. She had to get back to her class, so the disagreement ended there.

But in truth, both of our points are secondary. There is a something that is much greater than getting eye contact/interaction from a child with autism: building a relationship based on trust and predictability. It is from this relationship that eye contact, listening, communication, physical contact all emanate from.