The Good Life

Thanks for a great article.

When I was at my worst point in my depression I felt I didn't matter to those who mattered to me.

What helped me finally while I was getting better was realizing that those who I thought mattered to me were too narcissistic to care about much else other than themselves. It helped to find that I do in fact matter to certain family and friends and this has been enough for me.

Enjoyed this article tremendously. I had never heard of "measuring mattering"; the list gives hints of ways to improve one's defenses against situational depression.

I wonder what happens to infants born into families where they matter little to the people they are completely dependent on for survival. I am not referring to families where overt abuse or neglect occurs. I am referring to families where parents are so self-absorbed or so absorbed in another child or a third party that the developmental and emotional needs of the infant/child are ignored.

Why do some people born into such families, taught by experience that they don't matter, overcome their childhood environment to lead satisfying lives while others have serious psychological problems that go on for years - even their lifetimes? If we could figure out how to identify and help the struggling child, so many people could be saved so much pain!

Thank you so much Professor Peterson!

I'd like to say 5 things

1. You're important to me because you took the time to share your knowledge and it made an impact (positive I believe!)

2. I'd like to congratulate you on your Golden Apple award!***

3. If I were to forget what you've shared, I would miss you very much. I do not miss you now because I remember you through your teachings.

4. I'll read your work, Professor Christopher Peterson, when it finds me on the internet. I looked up your book. Two things daunting 1) price 2) length (My tolerance for reading is woefully low very unfortunately!)

5. I will depend on your teaching during moments of uncertainty. That making others matter to me, will make me matter to them.

On this note, there's a chance that a socially awkward attempt to make someone to matter oneself can slow (or stop) a mattering snowball to turn into a mattering avalanche (matterhorn?)

For example, maybe you you had a moment of "how'd you know about the apple...creepy" when I wrote point two - and the only reason I kept it in was to illustrate this point (although you're a very kind person who understands google, so that may not have been your reaction). So I guess, a healthy optimism can help the trial/error for making people matter to themselves.

The trials of a narcissist/only-child...

Thanks again Professor/Doc Peterson!!! :)

*** I considered sending this message to you by email because so few had shown their love by comments here (at least fewer than the impact I believe it merits), so in my attempts to get your email address, I came across your Golden Apple award.

P.S. I didn't send this to your inbox because I think you have more important matters to attend to. But if you do read this somehow, miraculously, I hope it makes you happy :)