The Gift of ADHD

How to Transform Problems into Strengths

Don't Eat at the Gas Station Quick Mart

Give yourself permission to go after what you really want

Some people know what they want, but they settle for what is already in front of them. To get where you really want to go you have to give yourself permission to go after it.

 Some people move in the general direction of what they want, but don’t try very hard to get specific about what they want. For example, what if one day you stopped at the gas station and were filling your car with gas and realized, “I want some dinner”. Your next thought was “Oh look there’s a quick mart right here, how convenient.” After pumping your gas you went into the quick mart and bought a microwave burrito and soda from the fountain. Nevermind that the soda had a vague residue of gas smell, you had gotten what you were looking for.

 Again, some people live there whole life like this. They get a vague idea of what they want and they go after it in the easiest, most convenient way possible. It doesn’t occur to them to get really precise about what would really be a great dinner and make plans or do research about how to make this ideal come true.

 This is where The Sweet Spot comes in. Your Sweet Spot is where your passion meets your purpose. It’s the thing that you love to do that comes easy to you. It’s where your biggest gifts are. For some of us who believe that the harder we work, the better, we can easily be fooled by what our biggest gifts are. Sometimes are biggest gifts are those things that come as easy to us as falling off a log. One time I gave a workshop. There was a woman sitting in the back who directed me from the beginning to the end. If I didn’t answer someone’s question completely she directed me to go back and finish answering a question. She asked me to slow down at certain points and speed up at others. When I talked about the Sweet Spot, she told me she always wanted to be a film director, but no one in her family was artsy. It was easy for me to believe that was her sweet spot, because I just lived through being directed by her. She was already great at doing it, she just wasn’t getting paid for it.

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Because her family wasn't artsy, no one had given her permission to make a living in a creative field. One thought - work must be hard - was between her and what she really wanted to do with her life.

What stands between you and what you want to do? Ask three close friends how you can overcome that obstacle.

Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and author of multiple books.

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