The Friendship Doctor

Send in your friendship questions and quandaries and get expert answers and solutions

by Irene S. Levine, Ph.D.

Ex-Pats: Can't We All Be Friends?

About 12 months ago my fiancé and I moved from the UK to the USA. A couple we knew had previously done the same thing 12 months earlier, and so when we moved I struck up a friendship with the woman...I thought we were starting to build a friendship. Read More

The Bad Friend

Finding ways to handle the “bad friend” dilemma can be challenging but there are more options when your children are young. Read More

Best Friends: Should You Tell or Keep It to Yourself?

The answer to whether or not you should tell your best friend she's your girl crush depends on WHY you want to tell her. Read More

My Sister Was My Best Friend

My sister and I used to be best friends. We had a tough time growing up. Our mother was (and still is) difficult so we supported each other a lot. As adults we remained close until recently. Read More

Friendship Struggles of Teens with Learning Disabilities

It is not uncommon for teens with learning disabilities to have problems making and keeping friends. Of course, the nature of these problems varies widely depending on the individuals and their disabilities. Read More

Surviving Menopause: Not Yours, Your Grumpy Friend’s

Many of my friends and family members are going through menopause/perimenopause right now, and I find myself surrounded by a lot of grumpy women. Read More

Getting Over Getting Dumped

I have been part of a group of friends since we were at University. We were housemates and had nothing in common: not life style, not personality, not taste in anything. Yet we were a solid group of friends. Read More

How to Keep an Online Friendship Online

I am often caught off guard by the recurring incidence of online "friends" (emailing, blogging, and/or Facebook) who want to take the friendship to the "face to face" level. The Internet has destroyed some important boundaries. Read More

When Friends Treat Us Too Much Like Family

I go to dinner with the same group of women for different reasons: birthdays, gourmet dinners, etc. A friend in the group, whom I talk with in a friendly way on the phone, always ignores me when we are out as a group. Read More

An Interview with Carlin Flora, Author of Friendfluence

Carlin Flora's new book makes a seminal contribution to the literature on friendship...it's also a great read. Read More

The Angry Widow: How Can Her Friend Deal With Her?

I have a friend who lost her husband about a year ago. She has also lost most of her friends through her hostile behavior. Read More

Valentine's Day: Call Me a Hopeless Romantic

Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or the Día del amor y la Amistad (Day of Love and Friendship)—as do many Latin Americans—February 14th offers a perfect opportunity to show affection for close friends, who add so much to our lives. Read More

The Frustrations of Phone Tag

I just recently reconnected with an old teacher of mine after 40 years. I sent her a letter letting her know what a difference she had made in my life. Read More

How Do You "Break Up" With a Group?

Sometimes we find ourselves in the awkward position of being a member of a group we no longer want to be part of. Is there a graceful way out? How do you break up with a group? Read More

Developing Friendships as Part of a Couple

There is no set guide for how to handle friendships within the context of marriage so here are some suggestions in response to a reader. Read More

Defining Loyalty in Friendships

I pride myself in being a loyal but I don’t know how to handle my friend's enemies. Read More

Make Midlife Friendships: Not Always Easy

I seem to have problems sustaining friendships. I must be doing something wrong. I don’t feel that I am insecure or depressed or even needy! But after a few months my new friendships seem to just stop. Read More

On Access: Mental Health and Guns

Access to legal and illegal guns seems easier than access to mental health treatment. This imbalance needs to be reversed. Read More

Wanted: A Spontaneous Friend

She’s the kind of friend whom you can ask to come over right away to help you decide what to wear tonight—or the friend who’ll be sitting with you as you wait for your repeat mammography that was only scheduled this morning. Read More

Excluded by Grown-Up Mean Girls

I have mixed with a group of 7 or 8 women in my hometown since my oldest child was at kindergarten and she is now nine. I have been closer to some more than others and fluctuations in the intimacy of these friendships have occurred, which is probably normal. Recently, however, I have felt excluded by the group. Read More

A Different Kind of Retirement Planning

it's never too late to pursue the interests, hobbies, and friendships you didn’t have time for before. Read More

Friendship Advice: Dumped by a Friend at Work

It’s been one-and-a-half years since my good friend and I broke up. As background, I’m 39 and she’s 45. I’m single and she’s divorced. Neither of us have kids. We had been good friends for seven years…met at work. Read More

When a Friend Goes AWOL

"We never had any kind of disagreement that I know of, and I am not a needy friend at all. After a year of silence, she sends me an email saying she wants to keep in touch but then hasn’t." Read More

Making Friends: Having Trouble Getting Close

I find it difficult to make friends. I've got some friends and had some in the past but when I analyze how we became friends it’s almost always either via someone else (usually a friend of my husband or brother) or because they made friends with me. Read More