The Friendship Doctor

Send in your friendship questions and quandaries and get expert answers and solutions

Friendship: When No Response is a Response

When a friend unceremoniously dumps you without explanation and offers no response, there isn’t much you can do. Friendships are voluntary relationships. Read More

My Observation

Jeff - I'm going to assume you had the best of intentions. But I'm guessing they thought you were looking for something more than just friendship. Or they didn't want to deal any longer with someone who seemed so needy. I'm not saying you were actually needy or looking for romance, I'm just simply saying how they probably perceived you.

Between the ton of favors you did for them and your profuse apologies, they were probably a little creeped out. People just hit a point where they don't know what to do when they are getting so much help/favors from someone and they see no way they can possibly reciprocate in full.

And, some parting thoughts regarding apologies - 1) Never apologize when it's not clear you did anything wrong. You don't think you did anything wrong, they didn't say you did anything wrong, so no apology necessary. 2) When you apologize, do it once, and one time only. When you do it a second, third, etc. time, it technically becomes groveling.

All you can do now is learn from your mistakes and move on from here.

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Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., is a psychologist and professor of psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine. Her latest book is Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend.


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