I’m a 57-year-old and I think I should have been able to figure this out by now! I have moved many times in my life. Consequently, my friendships are brief but I have had a few that lasted years.
Now that I am settled I seem to have problems sustaining friendships. I must be doing something wrong. I don’t feel that I am insecure or depressed or even needy! But after a few months my new friendships seem to just stop. I wonder if I am too independent? Or maybe I don’t respond or contact them enough?
I do know that I’m getting a little gun shy. I’m also finding other events and at home projects and volunteering to fill the void. But I hear about fun dinners or lunches that I’m not invited to and I feel a sense if loss. Not every time though. I just wonder why it is so difficult for me to have solid friendships! What do you think I’m doing wrong? Ideas? Thank you!
When we reach midlife, the thought of making new friends can be daunting. One reason why: Unlike women who are going to school, working or parenting, there isn’t a steady pool of people to choose from who are at the same stage of life, doing the same thing at the same time, with many of the same interests. For example, if someone finds a new friend at school or at the office, there is an opportunity to see each other day after day and to allow the friendship to blossom and deepen naturally over time, as the two get to know each other better. Opportunities like that tend to be more elusive at midlife.