I never had a lot of close friends when I was younger but I always had a couple, and my best friend was my husband. I also have four children. My husband died two years ago after a bout with cancer (at home) and my children are now grown and live in different areas. Two of my best friends moved to other states and I now have only one friend left, who also moved to another city.
We talk and email and Facebook but if I want to catch a movie or go out somewhere, there are no local people with whom I am friends. I go to lunch with co-workers and went to Weight Watchers with a lady from work, but have no close personal friends locally anymore.
I feel that the people I have reached out to do not want a closer relationship with me.
It is me that is the problem, but I do not know how to fix it.
I am getting a bit down on myself because when I reach out it seems people do not want to connect to me.
I think that when you get to be 60ish, many others around your age like their existing set of friends and do not include you in their gatherings. I know a lady that is always friendly and I listen to her adventures. She goes backpacking (which I do not do) and also rides Harley motorcycles (which I think is great but do not want to do). She is a manager at work and so am I. She has a group of friends that she has known since high school. She tells me about a gathering she is having and invites other people but not me, although we talk all the time.
Another lady and I took a class together and if I suggested dinner or something else she declined, although she wanted to sit next to me in class. I just found out she invited many people to a gathering she was having, but not me. She always acts real friendly, but obviously doesn't want to be close. I do not think that she totally dislikes me as there is a 15-year age difference, but obviously I am not considered to be included in a closer relationship than work.
I have been the one who would have people over and only a handful of times asked to their houses. I am not getting close to others as I used to.
I have had some visits with a psychologist who did not feel after a number of visits that I needed to come back. I know that it must be how I am talking or something I do that creates this in my life. I used to make close friends when I was young but just don't seem to fit into life correctly anymore.