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When I was growing up in the 70s, the progressive view held that a person could live a rich, rewarding life full of close bonds, even if she didn't have kids. On prime-time Saturday nights, Mary and Rhoda in their studio singles apartments, Bob and Emily in their Chicago high rise mingled happily with friends and co-workers who were parents, and were accepted as equals despite their childless status. Read More
Great post...what about childless by choice?
I checked out the website you mentioned, Coming2Terms - it seems designed for infertile women who are grappling with coming to terms with their infertility. Know of any good websites to make friends with other women who, like me, are childless by choice? Thanks!
Child Free for Several Reasons
From Christina, the guest blogger.
Good question! I wish I had a quick answer. I was actually a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of wanting a family. Life circumstances, health and finances made me realize even in my 20s it might not happen for me, despite the fact that I married my college boyfriend. So I was always keen on non-nuclear lifestyles. (BTW -- I have a lot of writing on this topic scattered about my website, starting with a Working Woman article originally penned under a pseudonym on the parent-centric culture at work back in 1998.)
I don't know if you've read this 1993 book: Why Don't You Have Kids? Living a Full Life Without Parenting, by Leslie LaFayette. She refers to a "Child Free Network" -- a social group. But the only thing I found online seemed pretty old, and was snarky, anti-family. It's unfortunate this can be so polarizing.
Check out Melanie Notkin's Savvy Auntie web site -- she's got a book coming out soon. Her focus is more on the "circumstantially" childless, having reached 40 and realizing that marriage and kids might not happen. But there are all kinds of women who post there, and I think you can find kindred spirits.
Personally -- I find more childless/free friends involved in yoga, creative pursuits, and at vacations like Club Med (check out their tours in advance, though. Certain resorts are geared towards families or very young singles, others are adult only.)
I've gotten so much mail on this post, I know there are a lot of us out there -- young, old, gay, straight, male female. We've got to start organizing!
Check out HappilyChildfree.com
Me again -- I just reread LaFayette's book, and determined to hunt her down online, came up with this site: http://www.happilychildfree.com/index.htm
It offers a comprehensive network of childfree resources -- including what looks like an exciting new book coming out this fall -- The Complete Guide to ChildFree Living by Dr. Ellen Walker. Also listed are social groups, state by state, and lots of think pieces.
Reply to person looking for websites
Hi,
Although I don't know either of these organizations personally, you may want to check out their websites:
http://www.childfreebychoice.com/
http://www.northvalley.net/cbc/
Of course, you can also meet other women who are "childless by choice" any place where women go to meet women:-)
In fact, a recent article in Salon [http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet/2010/06/25/childlessness_rate_increase] cited data from the Pew Foundation suggesting that "18 percent of women now end their childbearing years without biological children, compared to 10 percent in 1976." That's almost one out of five women!
Best,
Irene
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