The Friendship Doctor

Send in your friendship questions and quandaries and get expert answers and solutions.

by Irene S. Levine, Ph.D.

How to handle a fizzling friendship

By Irene S. Levine, Ph.D. on November 27, 2009 in The Friendship Doctor

Lately my friend has adopted this "I love you, now go away" persona that's testing my patience... Read More

I partially agree with the answer

Submitted by beibei on November 28, 2009 - 1:54am.

Hi Ella/Dr Levine, I only partially agree with the advise. Ella, in her letter said her friend is trying to avoid her for her birthday and in the office, I think possible what she did has offended him and she hasn't realised it yet, or he simply want to make some new friends as friendship go through cycles. Since both of them are introvent, I don't think they will talk things out, the best way is to leave things as it is now, and maybe try to leave each other alone for a while. Things will go back to normal after maybe half a year if the friendship is real.

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Thanks for your suggestion, Beibei

Submitted by Irene S. Levine, Ph.D. on November 28, 2009 - 7:23am.

I'm really glad you posted because, in case it wasn't obvious, I wanted to mention a few things about advice columns.

1) When people post a problem, they can't possibly tell the WHOLE story. My readers and I would be dead-meat if they tried to!

2) They tell only one-side of the story, theirs.

3) My friendship advice to Ella is my best guess (based on what I've been told)---and she needs to see if it fits for her. Of course, it's an informed guess since I've answered quite a few of these.

That said, you may well be right...Thanks again for reading and posting!

Best,
Irene

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Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., is a psychologist and professor of psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine. Her latest book is Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend.

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