More Actual Headlines
(from Columbia Journalism Review)
ALBANY TURNS TO GARBAGE
PASTOR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION
CHILD’S STOOL GREAT FOR USE IN GARDEN
FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE
IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?
DEAD EXPECTED TO RISE
CHESTER MORRILL, 92, WAS FED SECRETARY
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
POLICE BRUTALITY POSTPONED
BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLANDS
TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES
SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED
From actual resumes as reported by Fortune magazine:
- Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
- Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
- Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping." I have never quit a job.
(For a discussion of what prompted the Smile a Day column, see an earlier post)
Click here for my book (one of O: The Oprah Magazine's 10 Titles to Pick Up in May; with Foreword by New York Times columnist David Brooks): The House on Crash Corner and Other Unavoidable Calamities—about the sad, hilarious and meaningful ways we deal with the crises in our lives.