As a Jewish mother, I'm allowed to make these jokes:
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he has fallen in love and is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.
He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The redhead in the middle."
“That’s amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like her."
The First Jewish President
The first Jewish President of the United States calls his mother in Queens and invites her to come down for Thanksgiving.
She says, "I'd like to, but it's so much trouble... I mean, I have to get a cab to the airport, andI hate waiting on Queens Boulevard..."
He replies, "Mom! I'm the President! You won't need a cab - I'll send a limousine for you!"
His mother says, "I know, but then I'll have to get my ticket at the airport, and try to get a seat on the plane, and I hate to sit in the middle...it's just too much trouble."
He says, "Mom! I'm the President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One for you - it's my private jet!"
To which she says, "Oh, well, but then when we land, I'll to carry my luggage through the airport, and try to get a cab...it's really too much trouble."
He replies, "Mom!! I'm the President! I'll send a helicopter for you! You won't have to lift a finger."
She answers, "Yes, that's nice...but, you know, I still need a hotel room, and the rooms are soexpensive, and I really don't like the rooms..."
Exasperated, he gasps, "Mom! I'm the President! You'll stay at the White House!"
"Well...all right..," she says, "I guess I'll come."
The next day, she's on the phone with her friend Betty.
Betty: "Hello, Sylvia... So nu, what's new?"
Sylvia: "I'm visiting my son for Thanksgiving!"
Betty: "The doctor?"
Sylvia: "No ... the other one."
(For a discussion of what prompted the Smile a Day column, see an earlier post)
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