This past July, I had the pleasure of being one of hundreds of volunteers for the Kalachakra for World Peace with his Holiness the Dalai Lama. I had spent years reading many of the Dalai Lama's books and attempting to cultivate my own brand of
mindfulness based largely on the teaching of
Buddhism, so the opportunity to take part in this historic event was a very memorable experience.
In our ever increasing fast-paced culture, most of us are bombarded with lists of things to do and chronic stressors that keep us both occupied and frazzled. It becomes challenging to focus on one thing in the present moment, or even to (gasp) pause from the bustle of our busy lives. This being a particularly busy time of year, I have found it challenging to not become immersed with my own ever expanding to-do list. Thus, in the spirit of reflection, in a two part series, I would like to share the following two of five lessons (among many) that I have gained through reading the Dalai Lama's teachings, attending conferences on Buddhist psychology, and engaging in insight meditation:
1. Kindness Is King (& Queen). The Dalai Lama has stated that his religion is very simple: his religion is kindness. Too often when we are wrapped up in the drama of our own lives, we fail to recognize the power of basic compassion not only in helping others, but in enabling us to even heal ourselves. In the foreword to the Dalai Lama's best-selling book, An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life (2001), Nicholas Vreeland writes that, "In Buddhism, compassion is defined as the wish that all beings are free from suffering" (ix). Compassion enables positive emotion, the cultivation of empathy, and the acknowledgment that our happiness and survival does not occur in a vacuum, but is intricately linked not only to interpersonal relationships but also the larger world.
Sometimes basic kindness and decency may take a back road to our own perceived needs or desires, undermining our ability to both connect with and be kind to others. So take that extra moment to ask that Starbucks barista how her day is going as you order your morning coffee, or to let the car next to you turn in your lane even if you may feel eager to move forward as you sit in traffic. Small acts of basic decency can resonate in ways that we may not even imagine.
2. Be Quiet & Still. Our lives are not only busier today, but, we are also more wired than at any other time in history. Digital technology has become a staple and a necessity to our day-to-day lives—Blackberrys are buzzing, our email inboxes are flooding, cell phones are beeping and ringing, television screens have news scrolls and images jumping from one story to the next—whatever the gadget, most of us have one (or two, or three) that we can't fathom leaving home without.
While it is nearly impossible for us to escape these new developments, and many of us have benefited from the convenience that they oftentimes afford, it is important to be able to occasionally disconnect our technology—and as Depeche Mode sang, Enjoy the Silence. Indeed, I have begun to practice "cell phone free" hours on the weekends, when I try to escape the incessant distraction of text messages or phone calls and simply turn off my cell to enjoy who I am with or what I am doing in the moment. While this is a small way of escaping the incessant digital chatter, I have experienced enormous relief and peace in temporarily disconnecting from technology and focusing on the present.
Similarly, the Dalai Lama writes that, "We need a quiet environment...By this I mean a mental state free of distraction, not simply time spent alone in a quiet place" (Dalai Lama, 2001, p. 77-78). Certainly, it is not always possible to achieve this. But finding moments, over the course of the day, to disconnect from technology and connect instead with oneself or others, can help us become more mindful and present in the moment.
Stay tuned for my final three lessons in Part 2 of this series. In the meantime, as you go through your day, may you take time to pause, benefit others as much as you can, and enjoy the silent moments as they come (even if it means turning something off)!
Lama, D. (2001). An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life (Ed. Nicholas Vreeland). Little, Brown & Co.: New York.
Copyright 2011 Azadeh Aalai
