The Favorite Child

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, John Edwards, John Ensign - four more favorite sons who thought they could get away with having extra-marital sex. While many people may have negative judgments regarding extra-marital sex, ultimately it was their lying, not their sexual activities, that led to their downfall. Read More

"You can't be mean," says one mother as she observes a stranger favoring one child over another in a New York clothing store. "You can't play favorites," insists another. These responses, like those of other people, reflect observers' outrage as they witness a mother favoring one child over another. Read More

In this time of national political and social discord, one belief shared by many Americans is that men and women serving in the military, as well as their families, make enormous personal sacrifices. Read More

The Kids Are All Right, a popular summer movie, tells the story of a sister and brother who make contact with their father, whom they only knew as "the sperm donor." But it is more than a movie about a family of this decade, a lesbian couple and their kids. Read More

"Admitting to a favorite kid is one of the biggest taboos in parenting, although the vast majority of moms -- and pretty much all kids - perceive that there is a golden child in just about every family," blogs Amy Kuras in Toddler Newsletter. Read More

Father's Day is fast approaching. Children of all ages will be celebrating their fathers with loving sentiments expressed through words, gifts, and cards. Some fathers will enthusiastically and whole-heartedly embrace the tributes coming their way. Others will be more guarded, not psychologically able to fully embrace the celebration. Read More

A courageous man anonymously commented on my blog, "Do Parents Have Favorite Children." Having maybe been an overlooked child or more likely an unfavored child, he and his brothers took the heat from their father for anything their sister did that was wrong. Read More

"The worst kept secret in parenting is that many parents can and actually DO have favorite children," blogs Loraleechoate in blogher. Loraleechoate posts a picture of her favorite, her infant son who is resting quietly while sucking his thumb. Read More

I am thrilled that as I speak to different audiences about the favorite child complex, people spontaneously start talking about themselves. Men and women comment about their relationships with parents and siblings, spouses and children. These adults think aloud about the impact of favoritism on their lives and the lives of people close to them. Read More

When talking about The Favorite Child on the Leonard Lapote Show (NPR in New York City), a listener called in to talk about his child with special needs. This child was his favorite, and his other children were resentful. Special needs children generate unique family dynamics: Some parents favor these children while others resent them. Read More

This question, posed on Yahoo! Answers late last month, stimulated strong reader reaction. In my prior blog (Jan 5 2010) I concluded that it is normal for parents to have favorite children. Further I explored three considerations referenced in the Yahoo postings: First, no two children are identical making it impossible for any two children to be treated the same. Read More

Two African American men, who were standing behind me in line waiting to be seated at a Cracker Barrel restaurant in a small Georgia town, started bragging to me about their sons. These men had just watched their sons play outstanding ball in a championship high school football game, their sons' skills essential in helping the team secure victory. Read More

Mary and Todd spent several idyllic days prior to Thanksgiving visiting their twenty-six year old daughter Lisa. The day before Thanksgiving their twenty-two year old son Tom arrived. Within an hour, Mary and Lisa were fighting: On the way from the airport, the family stopped for lunch. Read More