Remember this: Leave Me Alone!” Means “Leave Me Alone!
Ideally partners can call an end to escalating fights before they get out of control. In real life, however, things can go from zero to 100 before one person realizes they should have exited the conversation earlier. When an argument has degenerated into a screaming match, or one person has absorbed more emotional intensity than he or she can manage, stop the interaction immediately.
When your partner says “leave me alone,” do it. If she doesn’t seem all that upset, you can offer one more invitation to keep the conversation going. (“I’m sorry I was being obnoxious. Can we try again? I promise to lower my voice”). But if your partner still wants to be left alone, force yourself to get away.
This mean no following her to a different room, no slipping notes under the door, no calling or texting, no adding one more word to the conversation until you’ve both calmed down.