The Dance of Connection

Rescuing women and men from the quicksand of difficult relationships.

A Surprising New Definition of Bravery

Do you think you're living a small, fear-driven life? If so, read this. Read More

Apologies for my judgement.

Hello Harriet
Apologies for my judgement - you post was stunning! End judgement.
I was deeply touched by the idea that it is courage which is required in order to overcome some of the tiny fears of a fear-driven life. What I understood you to be talking about was not merely overcoming a particular phobia, but also having the courage to make tiny changes, like cleaning a room, getting rid of some hoarded items etc. Taking these actions does not suggest great courage, but in fact they may be among the most feared and avoided activities in some people's lives.
And your coupling the decisions to be taken, to be commensurate with life values and meaning was the icing for me.
What I got out of your post was not so much the 'feel the fear and do it anyway' approach, or the linking with values. What touched me was the idea of tiny tiny actions sometimes requiring courage.
Thank you for your post.

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Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is best known for her work on marriage and family relationships and the psychology of women. Her book The Dance of Anger has recently been reissued.


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