Time will dull the edge of grief, but the loss of a mother is an emotional event of such proportions that we don’t just “get over it” after a prescribed period of time. When a mother dies prematurely or unexpectedly her death is more painful still.
The writer Anna Quindlen writes this about the loss of her own mother:
"My mother died when I was 19. For a long time, it was all that you needed to know about me…'Meet you in the lobby in 10 minutes—I have long brown hair, am on the short side, have on a red coat, and my mother died when I was 19…'. Sometimes I feel like one of those people searching for the mother who gave them up at adoption. I have some small questions for her…How did she get her children to sleep through the night? Was their olive oil in her tomato sauce? Was she happy? If she had it to do over again, would she?"
Give yourself permission to mourn your mother without impatience or self-criticism. Expect emotional ripples or even tidal waves to hit you years down the road.