The Dance of Connection

Rescuing women and men from the quicksand of difficult relationships.

Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is best known for her work on marital and family relationships and the psychology of women. Her books include The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Fear. See full bio

The Dance of Connection

January 26, 2010

Should You Have Kids? Why Risk it?

Don't have children if your life's purpose is to dwell in complete stillness, serenity and simplicity, or if you have a great dread of being interrupted: Read More

January 23, 2010

Six Easy Steps To Conquering Fear and Achieving Bliss?

Break free from fear and you'll soar like an eagle, reverse the aging process and attract a bevy of wildly sexy and appreciative lovers.

January 17, 2010

What's Your Anxiety-Driven Mantra?

Your mantra might be: "My sister cheated me out of Dad's money," or "I can't stand my brother's drinking" or "My ex is turning the kids against me." Read More

December 30, 2009

What Most People Don't know About Anger

What can you do when you're struck in silence and distance on the one hand, or non-productive fighting and blaming on the other? Read More

November 29, 2009

How Uncommon Sense Saves the Day

Imagination and uncommon sense can help you solve the riddles and relationships of life. Read More

November 21, 2009

The Foundation of Self-Esteem

Anxiety, by its very nature, will lead you to lose objectivity about the complex, wonderful, flawed, ever-changing person you are.

November 8, 2009

Over coffee with friends recently, the conversation turned to embarrassing moments. The story I told involved a pair of underpants creeping out one leg of my jeans and onto a busy street in Lawrence, Kansas.

October 11, 2009

Fear vs. Anxiety

Whatever your emotional vocabulary, no one signs up for anxiety, fear, or for any difficult, uncomfortable emotion. But we can't avoid these feelings, either. Read More

September 29, 2009

Anxiety and Shame: A Lesson in Courage

How do you speak up when a more powerful person (a teacher, doctor, boss) is shaming you, or simply behaving badly? Read More

September 7, 2009

FELIX: My Role Model for Mindful Living

If you are reading this now, you are not a cat and never will be. So along with the good days, you're going to experience the entire range of painful emotions that make us human. Read More

Books by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

The Dance of Intimacy

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self

The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life

The Dance of Deception: A Guide to Authenticity and Truth-Telling in Women's Relationships

Women in Therapy

Franny B. Kranny, There's a Bird in Your Hair!

Relationships Basics

Love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. For most people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in their lives. But the ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. Almost all of us have experienced a failed relationship, and most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.

Go to the Relationships Basics page for more on Relationships including:

Current Issue

Heartbreak and Home Runs: The Power of First Experiences

How early life experiences shape our character.

The Dance of Connection

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Books by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

Relationships Basics

Current Issue