The fact is that women in most countries are expected to be compassionate, nurturing, and to put their own needs aside on a regular basis. In most Third World countries, a woman's primary job is considered to be homemaker and mother. Few ever have the opportunity to pursue an interest, much less a job or career. If a woman is not compassionate, she is considered a bad woman. Even in more modern societies like Japan, women are still supposed to make their husband and children the primary focus of their life. For this reason, many Japanese women are deliberately delaying getting married, since they know that once they do so they will be expected to stop their career and make homemaking their major occupation. The same is true in many Middle Eastern countries and in India.
The problem with this is, while women are hard-wired to be compassionate, nurturing and patient in order for them to be good mothers, not every woman has an abundance of these qualities. For example, if a woman did not have a nurturing mother herself, she may end up being so wounded that she lacks the capacity to put her own needs aside for someone else. Unfortunately, these women are usually pressured into becoming wives and mothers whether they want to or not. Thus, the cycle continues and we see these women becoming like their own mothers--emotionally neglecting their children and worse yet, abusing their children.
In my practice I have worked with many Middle Eastern and Indian women whose own mothers were pressured into getting married. Far from being compassionate, they describe their mothers are harsh, critical and impatient. Sensing that they may be the same way with their own children, they resist getting married. But they receive so much pressure from their families that they usually give in. They end up not only sacrificing their own lives (many would prefer to have a career) but their future children's lives as well since they find they cannot emotionally connect with their children or that they take their anger and frustration out on their children.
