The Blame Game

The complete guide to blaming: How to play and how to quit.

Can I Make Myself Happier?

The benefits of positivity are well-known. We're told "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Can anyone do that? What if I'm wired to be pessimistic? Is Happy a choice? Read More

Happy is a choice

I guess happy is a choice, however, man is not born to make a choice. Everything in our life are not trully our own decisions. Sometimes they are everyone else's choices. Take for an example, when we go to restaurant, our choices are limited by the menu that are provided. We cannot make our own menu to eat.

So, to make ourself happy. It's all up to our choices to make our family or everyone else beside us be happy.



I beg to differ

Of course our choices are never unlimited -- you cannot choose to jump on a spaceship and live on another world because of the issues on this one. However, you have millions of choices on this world and in almost every situation to make life better. Out of the dozens of choices on a menu, a few choices will definitely be more favorable than the others. Once the choice is made the you need to decide (another choice option for you) to fully enjoy the food choice even though it may not come with the kind of potatoes or ketchup you prefer.

>>>> So, to make ourself happy. It's all up to our choices to make our family or everyone else beside us be happy. <<<<

Helping others and doing good things for others is great but be careful of sacrificial altruism -- everyone loses in that case, especially you. I believe that the sacrificial altruism that the modern left espouses is the cause of much ot the misery in the world. People sacrifice their wants and desires to make others happy with the known or unconscious belief that the others then owe them happiness. And when the others don't deliver the sacrificial altruist gets angry and blames the world instead of changing their own life.

Its much more logical to make your own happiness (in a rationally moral way, of course) first. If you are happy you set a good example in both actions and results. You make people happier just by being happy when around them and they aspire to be more like you. You have more energy (and probably earn more too) and can actively help others who really need help.

Someone once said it is a moral duty to be as happy as one can be and they may very well be right.

Happy Helping

I agree with you PRM. Happiness most often comes from doing not from having. We are truly in control of more facets of our lives than people like to admit. We are not responsible for the happiness of others.

As you stated, we can be a source of positivity and positive energy which will help us find fulfillment and satisfaction with life and be an inspiration to others.

The great news is that it is all possible and within our grasp if we understand how to accomplish it.

Be Well,


Hello Verdi, Thanks for commenting.
You are correct that we don't control anyone else's behavior or actions but we do have control over our actions and reactions. We do have a choice as to whether we go into the restaurant in the first place. We have a choice as to whether or not we want to stay in the restaurant after we see the menu. We can choose to be involved in activities that are uplifting to our spirit and we can choose to engage in relationships that are fulfilling.
These are components that result in our ability to choose happiness; not just for others, but for ourselves as well.

Be Well,

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Neil Farber, M.D., Ph.D., an Associate Professor at the Medical College of Wisconsin, is a member of the IPPA and the author of The Blame Game.


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