- Home
- Find a Therapist
- Topics
- Tests
- Magazine
- Psych Basics
- Blogs
- Diagnosis Dictionary
Your heart goes out to Jessica Simpson. Not only is her relationship struggling, she is also forced to endure the inevitable barrage of magazine articles scolding her for her missteps: If only you didn’t screw up, Jessica, your man wouldn’t be thinking of leaving you. Read More
Hard to get
Why not broaden the study to include lesbians gay men and women.
Hard to get
Why not broaden the study to include lesbians gay men and women.
Sustaining versus attracting a relationship
I think that Jessica Simpson could have been referring to her difficulty sustaining a relationship in which she was giving disproportionately. If a partner gives much more than they receive, that partner will be valued less. Exchange theory supports that premise.
Unfortunately, women have been socialized to give disproportionately in relationships with men, making them at a disadvantage in negotiating a mutually satisfactory relationship. We do know that Jessica was raised in a traditional home and may not have the skills to negotiate a reciprocal relationship in which she expects to be given as much as she gives.
There's much more to it...
> women have been socialized to give
> disproportionately in relationships with men
Something we tend to forget: on the whole, human females get more out of their males than any other animal on the planet. Women -- in the western countries, at least -- are exempt from doing any of the dirty or dangerous work which needs to be done on society's behalf, and they live half a dozen years longer than their males. While they earn only 3/4ths what men earn (which we're reminded of constantly), they nevertheless manage to account for 80-85% of the discretionary spending (which only seems to be known and talked about in the marketing, advertising, and media businesses).
So the socialization to which you refer is absolutely necessary in order to counteract women's entitlement complexes and Princess Mentality Syndromes, their seemingly never-ending demands for MORE, because they already get so much from men, though this is not widely appreciated (to say the least).
I'd doubt that any general findings have any relevance to Jessica Simpson, since she's got her pick from probably thousands of guys who'd be perfectly happy with her if she could bring herself to being happy with one who maybe wasn't quite the alpha-squared type of a Romo.
Women tend to be the one
Women tend to be the one wearing their hearts on their sleeves. For men, it is more about sex than about emotional needs. Therefore, we women get our hearts broken more frequently than men. From my experience, few men are really worth getting our hearts broken, nonetheless, it happens to us again and again. I've learned to focus more on self-improvement than on dreaming for a love fairy tale.
Thank you and I have a question as well!
Dear attractionologists
Thank you for this wonderful article.
It actually solved one of my personal problems.
I'm writing to find out, if a woman makes the mistake of accepting a proposal of a not-so-great guy, in a bid to win her ex, without knowing that the current guy is actually 'not so great'; and the ex starts taking her lightly because she agreed to go around with someone 'not so great', is their anyway that this woman can win her ex back? Because according to your theory, the ex feels that she is definitely not hard to get and that she can settle for just about anybody.
Please do respond to my question.
Thanks in anticipation.
Post new comment