The Athlete's Way

Sweat and the biology of bliss

What Tactics Motivate Bullies to Stop Bullying?

Two very different research studies from the University of California in Los Angeles (UCLA), and University of California, Davis have identified new strategies to combat bullying. Read More

Why can't we be friends

I truly buy this study. I agree 100%. It is about building social connections. Bullies do come in many forms, because each childs experience may not share similar circumstances. For example, whdn I was in High School, a soecial teen often got bullied from time-to-time. His physical deformities and speech impairment made him look unusual to be with and talk to. But I didn't ignore. I was good to him. Even back then I realized how important was to talk to people.

Bullying can affect you psychologically and physically. Heck, I got bullied. I got tired one day so I hit him. In the face. I was so scared, because we was going to get me after school. Plus the teacher did notice his eye was really red. He eventually made the connection and had a talk with us outside. And just like that. No more bullying. We actually became friends after that, even when we went to different high schools.

Sometimes teachers fix it, other times, they don't know how. But I buy this study. Nonsocialized offenders often become overtly aggressive, and bullies if certain needs are not met. Kids and teens are still learning about social skills, and chances are your anti-social behavior is just a product of your indivdual self. Many kids who fall victims in these cases often find themselves misunderstood. A friend can go a long way, especially if you find yourself socially isolated. Kids who have anti-social behavior often times have neurotic damage, and the amygdala is the key to these out-of-control surges. Is difficult for them to understand empathy, and they become lost causes. No amount of simulation can help them, nor a magic drug that can help them feel empathy. But for kids who can, there is hope.

My nephew is six year olds. He is a bit overweight. One day my mom addressed her concerns about the chances of him being bullied. I told her he'll be fine. Why? Because the school he goes to is socially and environmentally sophisticated. Soccer moms(which I'm trying to get numbers, lol. Joking!). The community is a very good community. Good principles and nice people. Is a paradise for social reward. He may get upset one time or have a bad day at school, but that's it. That happens to all teenagers. But the community is well prioritized(is a public school too). Is not like in the inner city, where teens and kids often find themselves engaging in interconflict. A lot of kids to attend to in a very small class, the productivity level will be low managing a couple of kids who live in low-income neighborhoods. The danger is not creating kids into social offenders, or have them experience maladaptive defiency, which is just a nicer way to socially ignore rules. It is important to have a struture where respect and togetherness is welcome, no matter what. But is very difficult. Segregation is still prevalent in inner cities, and dysfunctional upbringings are present in houseolds. We forget each childs experience is different from the other. Is not going to be easy for a teacher to improve social productivity to 30 or 40 kids. Is impossible. But with just a little concept and social responsibility, bullying can be as prevented as many diseases today.

Why can't we be friends.

Franky--Wow! Thank you for taking the time to share your insights and personal experiences about this topic with myself and other readers. Well said, and very much appreciated. Have a great night!

Christopher Bergland

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Christopher Bergland is a world-class endurance athlete, coach, author, and political activist.


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