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The 99th Monkey

One man's spiritual quest—and his continuous and utter failure to find the answers.

Spirituality
The Spiritual Path to Nowhere

Eliezer Sobel on April 23, 2024

Get off the spiritual seeker's treadmill of searching for something more while failing to recognize the vast mystery that all of us are already privileged to live within.

Get off the spiritual seeker's treadmill of searching for something more while failing to recognize the vast mystery that all of us are already privileged to live within.

Friends
On Being a Real Man

Eliezer Sobel on August 22, 2023

Personal Perspective: My Gentile friends seemed to spring forth from the womb wearing a toolbelt, and their first word was not “Mama,” but “Sawzall.”

Personal Perspective: My Gentile friends seemed to spring forth from the womb wearing a toolbelt, and their first word was not “Mama,” but “Sawzall.”

Career
Is There Life After Birth?

Eliezer Sobel on January 6, 2023

Personal Perspective: Of the 8 billion people currently alive, who have all been through the birth experience, are there even two of them born into identical life situations?

Personal Perspective: Of the 8 billion people currently alive, who have all been through the birth experience, are there even two of them born into identical life situations?

Humor
My To-Do List

Eliezer Sobel on April 26, 2019

1) End homelessness

2) Feed the hungry

3) Make dentist appointment with Dr. Rubenstein/ask about nitrous (refer to William
James?)

1) End homelessness

2) Feed the hungry

3) Make dentist appointment with Dr. Rubenstein/ask about nitrous (refer to William
James?)

Spirituality
Giving Our Power to Teachers

Eliezer Sobel on May 23, 2018

It dawned on me how easily I could form a cult in which my words and teachings would be held sacrosanct...as L. Ron Hubbard said, "Religion is where the money is."

It dawned on me how easily I could form a cult in which my words and teachings would be held sacrosanct...as L. Ron Hubbard said, "Religion is where the money is."

Traumatic Brain Injury
Hospital Madness & Farewell Dad

Eliezer Sobel on November 28, 2016

We had discovered a little-known secret about most hospitals and doctors: they will essentially do anything you ask, relieving them of the burden of having to make decisions.

We had discovered a little-known secret about most hospitals and doctors: they will essentially do anything you ask, relieving them of the burden of having to make decisions.

Media
The Book of Rubenstein

Eliezer Sobel on June 13, 2016

The “Church of Rubenstein,” often ridiculed in the media as a superstitious and dangerous cult, has at long last revealed the true story behind its creation myth.

The “Church of Rubenstein,” often ridiculed in the media as a superstitious and dangerous cult, has at long last revealed the true story behind its creation myth.

Jealousy
Professional Jealousy

Eliezer Sobel on May 3, 2016

I know I speak for hordes of writers when I say, “What am I, the chopped liver of our generation?”

I know I speak for hordes of writers when I say, “What am I, the chopped liver of our generation?”

Relationships
4/20/16: Now That It's Nearly Normal...

Eliezer Sobel on April 19, 2016

I certainly hope the rest of you have a great time, if and when widespread legalization comes to pass. And I’ll be really sorry to miss the party.

I certainly hope the rest of you have a great time, if and when widespread legalization comes to pass. And I’ll be really sorry to miss the party.

Spirituality
A Christian, a Hindu & a Muslim Walk Into A Bar…

Eliezer Sobel on March 29, 2016

The Jews are considered by some as having a disproportionate influence in both Hollywood and on Wall Street, but who knew that they were also a powerful force in other religions?

The Jews are considered by some as having a disproportionate influence in both Hollywood and on Wall Street, but who knew that they were also a powerful force in other religions?

Dementia
Who Wipes Who? Life After Depends

Eliezer Sobel on February 8, 2016

Although I knew it wasn’t really the “right” thing to think, I was nevertheless secretly grateful to Alzheimer’s; it had allowed for the healing of my relationship with my mother.

Although I knew it wasn’t really the “right” thing to think, I was nevertheless secretly grateful to Alzheimer’s; it had allowed for the healing of my relationship with my mother.

Anxiety
Coming Out of the Mental Illness Closet

Eliezer Sobel on September 9, 2015

I am mentally ill. It sounds a bit shocking to hear myself say that. Such a notion had never even occurred to me, until recently. My unexamined assumption was that mentally ill people were the ones living in institutions, ranting and raving and disrobing in public. They were schizophrenic, psychotic, and secured in lockdown wards.

I am mentally ill. It sounds a bit shocking to hear myself say that. Such a notion had never even occurred to me, until recently. My unexamined assumption was that mentally ill people were the ones living in institutions, ranting and raving and disrobing in public. They were schizophrenic, psychotic, and secured in lockdown wards.

Health
Grim Reaper, M.D.

Eliezer Sobel on January 23, 2014

Is it me, or is every health care facility I take my elderly parents to secretly intent on killing them off? As a culture, we have moved from death as the ultimate taboo, through a stage of speaking openly about the dying process, all the way to the opposite position: “Death? No worries, mate, why keep putting it off?"

Is it me, or is every health care facility I take my elderly parents to secretly intent on killing them off? As a culture, we have moved from death as the ultimate taboo, through a stage of speaking openly about the dying process, all the way to the opposite position: “Death? No worries, mate, why keep putting it off?"

Spirituality
Gabrielle Roth, 1941-2012: Disciple of the Deep Dark Divine

Eliezer Sobel on October 22, 2013

Gabrielle Roth, shaman and creator of the 5Rhythms™️ practice, passed away on October 22, 2012, seven years ago today, at age 71. Nobody that met her will ever forget her.

Gabrielle Roth, shaman and creator of the 5Rhythms™️ practice, passed away on October 22, 2012, seven years ago today, at age 71. Nobody that met her will ever forget her.

Relationships
Not a Book Review: BOHEMIAN LOVE DIARIES

Eliezer Sobel on July 30, 2013

Apparently Slash was recovering from yet another heart-breaking ending of a relationship, and had spiked his spirulina/ pomegranate/kale smoothie with LSD, psilocybin, Ecstasy, Geritol and Pepto Bismal, and he was found wandering on Main Street, downtown Galapago, wearing a rabbit suit and shouting, “Free the Bunnies! Free the Bunnies.”

Apparently Slash was recovering from yet another heart-breaking ending of a relationship, and had spiked his spirulina/ pomegranate/kale smoothie with LSD, psilocybin, Ecstasy, Geritol and Pepto Bismal, and he was found wandering on Main Street, downtown Galapago, wearing a rabbit suit and shouting, “Free the Bunnies! Free the Bunnies.”

Anger
Her Car Would Only Go Backwards

Eliezer Sobel on May 21, 2013

I keep her at home because after 67 years of togetherness I still want to be by her side when I go to bed and when I wake up; I want to kiss her good morning and (not always) have her smile and say “I like that” when I kiss her as she opens her eyes.

I keep her at home because after 67 years of togetherness I still want to be by her side when I go to bed and when I wake up; I want to kiss her good morning and (not always) have her smile and say “I like that” when I kiss her as she opens her eyes.

Memory
Moments of Joy with Alzheimer's!

Eliezer Sobel on April 2, 2013

I’ll never forget playing “Tangerine Poker,” a card game my niece Julie and I made up as we went along: I would pick a card, and put the tangerine next to the salt shaker. Julie would put a card on top of mine, and peel the tangerine. My mother would study her hand carefully, look down at the table, and eat the tangerine.

I’ll never forget playing “Tangerine Poker,” a card game my niece Julie and I made up as we went along: I would pick a card, and put the tangerine next to the salt shaker. Julie would put a card on top of mine, and peel the tangerine. My mother would study her hand carefully, look down at the table, and eat the tangerine.