Teen Angst

Helping adolescents deal with anger and other emotions effectively

Right Here, Right Now

It's time to make a change...what are you waiting for?

As another year has come and gone, you may be sitting back reflecting on 2012 and thinking about how you want 2013 to look different...But are you making the same promises that you made last year at this time? Are you longing for contentment…only you can't find it? Maybe you are desiring a different job, a better relationship with your partner, to go back to school, to stop smoking, to lose weight, or to be a better parent; frankly, it doesn't matter if you've let another year pass between you and the achievement of your desire. 

It is past time to let yesterday's wishes become next year's resolutions. If we look back on this past year's events, we can all probably agree that life is too short to watch another year's wishes dissipate into the abyss of life. So, I've scouted some sites that offer useful information to help you begin your journey to change. From jobs to parenting, I've included some tips to help you make 2013 a successful year in which you'll look back and say "Yeah, I did it!" You've got one magic moment to make it happen and that moment is right here and right now. So what are you waiting for?

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

 

Searching for a new Job? 

Sure you've got to pay the bills, and have responsibilities to take care of, but don't use that as your excuse to keep you from moving forward with your dream. You can have both. Don't stay in a comfort zone because you fear what change could bring. Start looking to get out of the situation you're in. Go ahead and dust off that resume. Get connected using your professional and social networking sites, set up searches, and start networking with headhunters. Beginning the process will not only help you feel better and empowered, but will also help you endure the job that you detest.

Sites to help you begin your new job search: 

Ten best job search websites: 

http://www.pcmag.com/slideshow/story/294523/the-10-best-job-search-websites/4 

Creating an Online Portfolio: 

http://www.1stwebdesigner.com/design/creating-online-portfolio-tools-inspirations/ 

Updating your Resume: 

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-2862-Cover-Letters-Resumes-R%c3%a9sum%c3%a9s-in-2012-Whats-old-whats-new/ 

http://career-advice.monster.com/resumes-cover-letters/Resume-Writing-Tips/Avoid-the-Top-10-Resume-Mistakes/article.aspx 

Thinking of Going Back to School?

http://adulted.about.com/od/goingbacktoschool/tp/10-Considerations.htm 

Wanting to improve your relationship? 

Have you let life's chaos separate you from the one you really care about? If all material items were to fade away, all you're going to have left are the people around you. Has your partner or spouse taken a back seat lately? If so, re-kindle that relationship. A great way to do this is by getting away from your routine and life. Take a short vacation, even if it's just a few hours down the road, and make a break for it (without the kids). Mini vacations where you can escape and connect again are important. Don't let life take you away from the people that matter most. It is a guarantee that when you're at the end of life's journey, you'll forget the everyday routine that has you stuck, but you'll remember moments and times spent with those you treasure. Do you want to make excuses to stay in the routine, or do you want to create a memory? 

Best Vacations Spots: 

http://travel.usnews.com/rankings/best_usa_vacations/ 

Bed and Breakfast Guide:

http://www.bedandbreakfast.com/ 

Okay, you may be thinking “I can't afford to go on a vacation”, but what about a “switch and sit” night? Work out an arrangement with some friends with kids where you take theirs one night and they take yours another. Do this every month so you and your partner can have a date night to look forward to. “Switch and sit” is a great way to reconnect and save some money in the process. Plus, not only will you be helping out your own relationship, you will be helping out your friends as well. 

Trying to break a habit? 

We all have habits that are less than desirable. Breaking a habit requires change, motivation and willpower and none of those things come easy. Whether you're trying to stop smoking or lose weight, you'll need a game plan for making it happen. You've got to start somewhere and set realistic objectives to accomplish your goal. Here are a couple of sites to help you get started. 

Tips to kick the habit: 

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/3-easy-steps-to-breaking-bad-habits 

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennagoudreau/2012/12/28/the-secret-to-breaking-bad-habits-in-the-new-year/

 

Wanting to be a better parent? 

Are you guilting yourself for not being a good parent? In a constant conflict with your kid? Maybe you've become too busy to fit your kid into your life? With work, errands, activities, and appointments, it's easy for life to become a routine and to be built around everyone else's schedule. The “go, go, go” mentality can create strain on a relationship.

The teen years go by so quickly as it is, and if your teen is in high school then in four short years or less, he or she will be leaving the nest to begin his or her own life. The teen years are your last hoorah to mold and shape your teen as much as possible. 

Stop feeling guilty and start building that relationship. You don't want to be sitting at a high school graduation wishing for something you can't get back. Rather than seeing your teen as "your child", see him as the person that he is becoming. Find out his thoughts about things. Find out what he likes. Don't assume that you know. You may be surprised to find that your teen has become a remarkable young man or woman.

Here are some great ways to spend more time with your kid (of any age):

• Go see a movie

• Go shopping

• Go to a coffee shop

• Go to a concert

• Cook a meal together

• Go camping

• Have a spa day

• Go for a run

• Shoot some hoops

• Go and have a nice dinner

• Get creative. Find something that you and your kid enjoy doing together. Try to do this once or twice a month. 

So, here we are back to the beginning...stay the same or make a change? Right here, right now…that's all you've got. Don't let yourself be at the same place as last year. If you want to change, it's up to you. Hey, tomorrow isn't a guarantee and all you've got is right here and right now. What are you waiting for? As Van Halen put it: "Make future plans, don't dream about yesterday... turn this thing around. Right now..It's your tomorrow...Tell me, what are you waiting for? Turn this thing around..Right now...it's everything."

Here's to the best 2013 ever! Happy New Year!

 

 

Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, M.S., L.P.C., is the author of The Anger Workbook for Teens.

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