Take All Prisoners

i was the prey of a psychopath for more than 11 years off and on. i believed he was my "soul mate" (he is gorgeous college educated from a good family but uses a problem with drugs as his con to get away with crimes, a slap on the wrist from the authorities, uses to manipulate people into believing it is the disease not him when he disappears for days or months at a time he claims it is the drugs but he wasn't like other addicts in being sexually deviant and i believed him as i had a similar experience and yet not sexually deviant, not a thief or criminal just drugging the pain of living my fathers lie i suppose but i got sober when i married my ex and remained so and got 8 years in the program before deciding AA is a dangerous place to hang out and not every addict is the same. i was used by women in those rooms many times thinking i was helping them ending up robbed etc....)because he remained in touch with me through out all of those years, claimed i was the most beautiful girl in the world, promised to take care of me when he inherits his millions, knew my fear of my fathers abandonment and constant financial manipulation, liked my good name and credibility in the community, knew i was as loyal as they come, told me he was the same which i later found out was total lies but i didn't question it for many many years, knew i would turn away from my fathers control and money and wait tables and take care of every responsibility if someone simply loved me and not allow my father to violate my boundaries, privacy and threaten me with being "locked up", etc...i owned my own businesses and had excellent credit kept an immaculate home, raised a healthy son who was grown so no distractions for my ex to worry about, i was the perfect mark, from his own mouth at the end

i was trained to be an open book reveal every vulnerability without hesitation as in childhood i had no privacy, my room constantly searched, my calls listened in on, intercoms in the house used to spy on me, my private life shared worth others inasapropraitly, anytime something was wrong i was told "get over it", "let it go, get control of your life", so to be hurt by others was never even acknowledged much less any protection or lessons to stand up for myself have boundaries, self respect but instead i was taught it is okay to violate me but i must respect others and their boundaries even if they are hurting me. i never hold others accountable for their part in proper balance which would be appropriate but instead it was all on me so i learned to hold myself accountable for all mistakes and forgive others immediately just like i did and do with my father. he can hurt me or do something i specifically tell him is traumatizing and ask him not to do and he will agree then go behind my back and do it then deny it or claim her doesn't remember saying that or it was for my own good, or get over it, even at 45 years old he stills likes teaching painful lessons and will not help me when he is a very powerful millionaire who could simply pick up the phone in order to stop something bad from happening to me and to not say or do anything makes my credibility questionable, but he won't.

so when i began to realize my ex was lying and when his mask dropped like a fool i thought my father would help me. everyday i was expected to call him and he always said if you ever need anything i am here. i should have known better but i guess since it makes so much sense that my father would want to help me and he claims to love me i fell for it again and i learned again he will never stand up for me not even after being robbed, harassed, tape recorded against my will or without my knowledge, exposed to hiv while being told i was the only one and my ex refused to wear condoms and i have it out of the mouth of the man he slept with so proof, raped by my ex and his friend, but dad said i "opened the door". never he will never take up for me, gives the impression i am a liar which i am not and now realize that is mirroring as my ex did the same about me cheating which i never did and since found out he was with hookers and men and women and i was clueless. eventually my ex got so frustrated by how easy it was to play me he started saying "you must have liked playing "ring around the rose as a kid", "what do you expect it is so easy" "you were my biggest mark", and even when i did want to know the truth and get a restraining order as i knew i was being manipulated my father cut me off, traumatizing me more, threatened me by saying i need to go to a clinic meaning i am crazy and he will keep manipulating me until i am in lock down, i had to sell my home and my businesses, my father believed my ex's lies and before even bothering to ask me about the lies he was told he took action to lock me up but no action to help me find the truth or recover funds stolen or get a restraining order.

so not only did i have to accept my ex is a liar and never loved me and is a possible serial killer, my father who goes to church everyday, is giving his millions to the Catholic Church rather than his children and who is so enmeshed in my life i cannot escape him and now because all that was stolen and no help receiving that money he is once again in control of me financially ( his favorite form of control) is also a liar and causes me great harm yet denies it and is never held accountable and as usual i am back in line acting as though he is a great father while knowing he did nothing to help me but used my vulnerability to manipulate me back to new orleans. i had moved across the us to escape is control and i did well for about 10 years but now i fear what is next? i can't ever call him on the truth as he will never admit it and he has so much power i will not e believed since he spent my life discrediting me and pretending to be such a good parent. i have spoken to many friends who have experienced his lies in business and so understand but they cannot help me.
wondering what advice you all may give me?????

in 07 or 08, not sure, they sent me to the meadows for love addiction and the counselor said "no more treatment centers. you are fine and need to re-parent yourself, minimize contact with your father and leave your ex for good.", i did not get it then but i do now and my ex, who is now a fugitive and an arrest warrant issued although nothing to do with me, has been gone since 1/08(oh and the criminal he brought to my home against my will and hurt me with was just arrested with 17 felonies and i shown my father the arrests still he says "let it go") but i know he will be back as he has waited 5 years before and he has never been held accountable for anything he has done to me so why not? it works with me and if i do not fall for his games he knows he can kill me and get away with it as my family will just say i killed myself and get angry that my ex was anywhere around me even if i didn't want him around. he is bigger than me and bullied me all the time. he broke into my home took my money, keys to my car, phone, computer, called and sent emails to people pretending to be me making me seem crazy, stole tons of things, brought criminals to my home against my will, raped me, bragged about murdering people, the guy who told me he had sexual experiences with my ex died about 8 days after he text me that information then my ex me he had HIV, and in spite of all of this information and i saved all of the evidence including a fake gun and full ski mask and electrical tape i found under my mattress, nothing was taken seriously the police did nothing, the DA didn't care, my family rolls their eyes and gets angry with me, so here i sit the "perfect mark" waiting for the next "game" to be played on me knowing i will never recover whatever is taken from me whether it is financial, shameful, abusive, even bodily harm. my father is friends with the attorney general of the united states the last president of the united states and every other powerful person that could help me become safer and see some even just a little justice therefore helping me not be the perfect mark, and perhaps help the others and protect the next girl he is playing now 2 of which i know have little children but when i try to warn them i am hung up on so not taken seriously and in doing so asking to be punished even more.

I would just get a restraining order which allows address records to be sealed, and once that is done I would move away and not have a listed number, or a listed address. I would have my mail delivered to mailbox rental place so that nothing can be traced to my real address. You should just be firm, and tell your father you are going to move, and hide your whereabouts from your ex, and you are not asking him but telling him that you need him to pay for the move. If he won't do that, then don't ever speak to him again. That means you don't speak to your father anymore either if that's what it takes to find the piece of mind you will find if you get away from traumatic and toxic people and places that are quite clearly doing you more harm than any potential monetary good if you were to stick around instead.