Surviving (Your Child's) Adolescence

Welcome to the "hard half" of parenting: Here are some changes you can expect and some choices you should make.

Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Austin, Texas. His most recent books are: The Connected Father, The Future of Your Only Child, and Stop Screaming. carlpickhardt.com See full bio

Surviving (Your Child's) Adolescence

March 16, 2010

Mis-education:why some adolescents refuse to learn in school.

For any adolescent, learning is affirming.

It empowers personal functioning by improving performance. It strengthens the capacity to cope the demands of life. It builds self-esteem by boosting understanding, skills, and confidence in mastery. It provides a knowledge base for making one's way in the world. And it fuels interest and curiosity and the desire to learn even more. Read More

March 9, 2010

Adolescence and why freedom isn't free.

Adolescents often say they want independence when what they really mean is social freedom - freedom from adult direction and restraint. Read More

March 2, 2010

Sibling conflict in adolescence.

In parent counseling, clients will frequently ask, "Why can't our kids just get along?" "Why must they continually fight with each other?"

Parents grow tired of the constant bickering, teasing, competing, and ongoing provocation between their children that's always going on, and that usually becomes more frequent during adolescence, a more combative and aggressive age. Read More

February 23, 2010

The disenchantment of adolescence.

Adolescence breaks the spell. What spell? The enchantment of childhood - of parents entranced by the child and of the child's adoration of parents.

At the beginning of their relationship parents feel as smitten by the little one-year-old girl or boy as that little person is by them. But add ten years to the child and their sense wonder of has begun to wear off. Read More

February 16, 2010

Adolescence and developing self-discipline.

Come the onset of adolescence (around ages 9 - 13), the young person breaks the boundaries of childhood to create more room to grow because he or she doesn't want to be defined and treated as "just a child" any more. Read More

February 9, 2010

Being bullied: helping your adolescent not get pushed around.

The "poster child" behavior for the five kinds of social cruelty I describe in my recent book "Why Good Kids Act Cruel" (teasing, exclusion, bullying, rumoring, and ganging up) is bullying. (See 1/3 and 1/10/10 blogs on social cruelty.)
Read More

February 2, 2010

Adolescence and the matter with money.

Come adolescence, young people start to learn what their parents already know: that in life most people have to get by on less money than they ideally want and often on less than they actually need.

This is sobering realization at an age when worldly freedom to do, to go, and to have starts to matter and cost so much more. That's the power of money: it buys freedom of choice. Read More

January 26, 2010

Delayed adolescence and the only child,

Early adolescence (usually around ages 9 - 13) begins the separation from childhood. Now the young person starts letting go the role and identity of being a child, the traditionally close companionship with parents, and the comfort and security that comes from mostly living within the social shelter of the family circle. The time has come to create more room to grow. Read More

January 20, 2010

Adolescence and mistake-based education.

Much as parents wish otherwise, trial, error, and recovery mark the adolescent learning curve of growing up. Read More

January 10, 2010

Helping adolescents cope with social cruelty at school.

At its worst, usually during the early adolescent years (around ages 9 - 13), the experience of being target of unrelenting daily social cruelty (like teasing, exclusion, bullying, rumoring, or ganging up) can do a student a lot of harm. A passing conversation the other day brought this harsh reality to mind.

"So what's your latest book about?" the familiar woman at the counter asked. Read More

Books by Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D.

The Connected Father: Understanding Your Unique Role and Responsibilities during Your Child's Adolescence

The Future of Your Only Child: How to Guide Your Child to a Happy and Successful Life

Parenting Basics

Parenting can be the most stressful--and rewarding--job of your life. We can all think of ways we'd do things differently from our parents, and no doubt your kids will find ways they would parent differently from you.

Go to the Parenting Basics page for more on Parenting including:

Current Issue

The Expectations Trap

Why we're conditioned to blame our partners for our unhappiness.

Surviving (Your Child's) Adolescence

Subscribe to Surviving (Your Child's) Adolescence

Books by Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D.

Parenting Basics

Current Issue