Surviving (Your Child's) Adolescence

Welcome to the "hard half" of parenting: Here are some changes you can expect and some choices you should make.

Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Austin, Texas. His most recent books are: The Connected Father, The Future of Your Only Child, and Stop Screaming. carlpickhardt.com See full bio

November 22, 2009

Effective punshment for the adolescent.

(Punishment, Part three.)
When it comes to punishing their adolescent, the number one choice of parents seems to be DEPRIVATION - temporarily removing something of value in the young person's life in consequence of him or her committing some serious misdeed. Read More

November 15, 2009

How NOT to punish your adolescent.

(Punishment, Part two.)
When it comes to punishing their adolescent, most parents understand that even if they resorted to spanking (or other acts of physical hurt) when he or she was a child, now with a teenager this corrective response does more harm than good, as it may have done back then. Read More

November 6, 2009

Why violence?

We bloggers for Psychology Today were asked to write a something in the wake of the Ft. Hood shootings, perhaps in hopes our individual offerings might add a small piece to the puzzle of understanding the profound complexity of social violence. Read More

November 1, 2009

Punishment and the adolescent.

(Punishment, Part One)

Punishing their adolescent is one of the more unrewarding parts of parenting. Not only does it add negativity to a temporarily strained relationship; it can provoke the adolescent to punish parents in return. Read More

October 25, 2009

Criticizing your adolescent.

It's tempting for parents to criticize their adolescent. Read More

October 18, 2009

Adolescence and the limits of parental responsibility.

Some parents subscribe to the input/output theory of parental influence and responsibility. Put in "good" parenting and a healthy, successful child and adolescent will result.

Effort equals outcome, they believe, because quality of parenting makes most or all of the difference in how a young person "turns out." This is not exactly the case. Read More

October 11, 2009

Arrested development -- when adolescents run from responsibility.

Engage with life or escape from life, that is the adolescent question?

Should the adolescent face another challenge in the long trial and error process called growing up, or avoid the encounter and seek temporary relief? Read More

October 4, 2009

Parental pride and adolescence.

Most parents want to be proud of their children, and most children want to make their parents proud. In fact, to a young child, parents saying, "I'm so proud of you" can be the most powerful praise of all. Read More

September 27, 2009

Adolescence and the loss of childhood.

Whenever I think about a child's entry into early adolescence (around ages 9 - 13), I am reminded of the extraordinary title of Thomas Wolf's novel, "You Can't Go Home Again."

For me, these words capture the irredeemable loss that young people must endure and the daunting challenge that they must brave as they depart from childhood and face the great unknowns of growing up. Read More

September 20, 2009

Emotional extortion: how adolesents can manipulate parents.

Little children do it all the time. Powerless when refused what they want by a parent, they may signify displeasure by communicating disappointment, hurt, or outrage. What happens next is formatively important, and in most parent/child relationships this response occurs some of the time. Read More

Books by Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D.

The Connected Father: Understanding Your Unique Role and Responsibilities during Your Child's Adolescence

The Future of Your Only Child: How to Guide Your Child to a Happy and Successful Life

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