Stuck

Why we can't (or won't) move on from bad jobs, bad relationships, and bad habits, and how we can all move ahead.

What's Behind Beyoncé's #WhatIsPretty Project?

We who have low self-esteem find it hard to talk about low self-esteem because low self-esteem makes us want first and foremost to shut ourselves up. Read More

What a joke

What a joke coming from a woman who whitens her skin, wears weaves and dyes her hair blonde! She must be so proud of her African American roots. Prances around wearing next to nothing, claiming female empowerment. Singing about how we should focus more on what's the inside haha. Is way thinner now than before she had a baby?! Hypocrite.

I really enjoyed this article

I really enjoyed this article and would appreciate any comments on how does one ever, seriously, get out of this?

Re: I Really Enjoyed...

Thank you. As to your question, that's mainly why I wrote my new book, Unworthy: How to Stop Hating Yourself -- in hopes of finding, sharing and manifesting ways of getting out of this.

Look I rarely say critical

Look I rarely say critical things about other people's writing, and I honestly don't mean to be insulting here, but to assume that everyone who's worked hard enough or been lucky enough to become a "public figure" has such high and consistent self-esteem that they have no right to do what they can to be a role model is just plain ridiculous. How would you know that they aren't riddled with the same self-doubt and fears everyone else is? How do you know that someone who sees Beyonce as a role model isn't getting something healthy and useful out of this? Two words may be enough to give them the bravery to get through the day feeling a little better about themselves. Telling people to shut up because you wish you had what you believe they have (and they may not, you do know that, right?) certainly is not going to help them.

I Wasn't Telling HER to Shut Up, I Was Telling ME....

No no no no, you misunderstood. I was not telling Beyoncé to shut up. I was saying I wanted to tell mySELF to shut up, that telling ourSELVES to shut up is the default reaction of people with low self-esteem. ... I agree with you that certain celebrities are riddled with low self-esteem. Kate Upton recently told an interviewer about her own self-doubt. Mariah Carey is quoted in my book, talking about her low self-esteem. I would never presume to tell Beyoncé or any such person to shut up.

I'm sorry if I gave that impression. The "two words" headline currently on the story was not my original headline, and maybe that was what misled you.

Oh! I apologise, Anneli! It

Oh! I apologise, Anneli! It sure did... (blushes) I just think, having learned to be at least sometimes reasonably confident in myself (and it was a long hard road) that you take whatever you can get in the way of inspiration. And if that comes from Beyoncé, so be it :) Good luck on your journey

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may quote other posts using [quote] tags.

More information about formatting options

Anneli Rufus is the author of many books, including Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto and Stuck: Why We Can't (or Won't) Move On.

more...

Subscribe to Stuck

Current Issue

Love & Lust

Who says marriage is where desire goes to die?