Stuck

Why we can't (or won't) move on from bad jobs, bad relationships, and bad habits, and how we can all move ahead.

A Patient, Then a Magnate

A bagel king remembers his months in a psychiatric hospital.

Two decades before he founded the bagel company that he would eventually sell for $100 million, Noah Alper spent nine months as a patient at McLean Psychiatric Hospital in Massachusetts. Desperate to help their distraught and delusional college-student son, his parents had committed him.

"Madison was one of the epicenters of the antiwar movement," Alper said when I interviewed him this week. To counter that movement, "there were the equivalent of tanks riding up and down the streets. There were helicopters; there were National Guardsmen with bayonets. It was stressful," as was his uncertain future: "Was I going to be drafted? Was I going to be a revolutionary? Or was I going to sell tuna fish with my father?"

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In his new book Business Mensch: Timeless Wisdom for Today's Entrepreneur, the founder of Noah's Bagels writes about his breakdown: "With all of the disarray inside and out, I lost control.

"In May of 1969, I entered a kind of persistent mania. ... I began experiencing hallucinations, hearing voices, and seeing a recurrent vision of clean sheets on tucked-in and orderly beds. Amid the chaos, some part of me was yearning for order."

College-student Alper became obsessed with trying to contact then-President Richard Nixon. His parents arranged for him to be transported to McLean.

At the hospital, "a man approached me, another patient," Alper writes. "I learned later that he was a biochemistry professor at a local college, an older Jewish gentleman who was the self-appointed rabbi of the ward. He was a warm, chain-smoking little man who ranted about physics and the Torah, but his warmth and willingness to reach out to me made me feel that I was okay.

"My memory of what happened next is hazy, probably because the doctors soon put me on psychotropic medications -- mostly Thorazine. ... It was like being in a fog machine, like wearing psychological handcuffs. I came to understand that I could not leave this place. I was stuck here."

During his near-year at the hospital, he attended group therapy sessions and "was forced to examine myself under a microscope -- to confront issues with my parents, with females and with other hangups. Before McLean, I was bottled up, nervous, and explosive. Through my experiences there, I learned to open up, to deal better with my emotions and feelings, and to face the deepest issues as they arose."

He now considers his nine months at McLean "a healthy postgraduate experience ... that helped me calm down and prepared me to face life in a healthy way."

 

 



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Anneli Rufus is the author of many books, including Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto and Stuck: Why We Can't (or Won't) Move On.

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