Stuck

Why we can't (or won't) move on from bad jobs, bad relationships, and bad habits, and how we can all move ahead.

Anneli Rufus is the author of many books, including Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto and Stuck: Why We Can't (or Won't) Move On. See full bio

July 10, 2009, Depression

Comments on "Without Arms or Legs"

Without Arms or Legs

By Anneli Rufus on July 10, 2009 in Stuck

My severely depressed friend -- who uses a wheelchair but is not paralyzed, and who has full use of arms, eyes, brain, and much more -- never wants to hear about folks who have it even worse. So I won't tell my friend about Nick Vujicic, who was born without arms or legs. Read More

What is your point?

Submitted by Anonymous on July 10, 2009 - 12:18pm.

What is your point?

re: What Is Your Point?

Submitted by Anneli Rufus on July 10, 2009 - 12:27pm.

My point is that depressed people cannot be expected to respond to certain information in the same way as non-depressed people or even as other depressed people would. While the story of Nick Juvicic might be inspiring to some of us, it has the opposite effect on some people. That is all.

Hi Anneli, I interviewed

Submitted by Carlin Flora on July 10, 2009 - 12:56pm.

Hi Anneli,

I interviewed your fellow blogger Martha Manning on this very subject -- she concurred that it's simply very hard to help a depressed friend, because the depression itself makes the person resistant to logic and/or more optimistic ways of looking at situations. Manning recommends giving practical help to depressed friends, such as running errands to make their life easier, and simply listening to them. Beyond that, you can't expect to "cure" them anymore than you would expect to be able to cure a friend with diabetes or a flu. I hope your friend does get professional help, but in the meantime, don't get too down on yourself over your attempts to make her better.