Stuck

Maybe the proverbial story about the 4 year old daughter who asked her dad: "Dada, what is sex sin?" rings true here.

The father put down his heavy briefcase and said to his daughter: "Sweet Pie, there are some things that are too heavy for you to carry and only I can carry their load because I am big and strong. Like this briefcase. But one day you will be as big and strong as daddy and be able to carrythe load that comes with this knowledge about what you just asked me...okay?"

"Okay Dada!"

"That's my girl, I love you."
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Isn't that the natural and simple way of dealing with this conundrum instead of destroying innocent minds at such a fragile and vulnerable age.

First, I think ideally it's the parents should be in charge of this. Any four-year-old should at least know what private parts are and what they're called. However if there are too many families (for whatever reason) dropping the ball, I don't oppose public education stepping in.

Before people overreact though - from the title I was thinking that people were being taught the mechanics of sex at age 4. But it looks like all they're taught before age 9 is about private parts and what they are. Provided they're also taught what ears are, what the heart does, and why people have different colours of hair...I don't see that as a problem.

After all, if it's all a "mystery" doesn't that just encourage people to play doctor? Or to have erroneous ideas about the opposite sex? "The difference between boys and girls is that girls have long hair and wear pink and cry more!" (try that, feminists).

Pending more reading about it, it sounds like a reasonable program. Learning where babies come from at age 9 seems reasonable. As does learning about breastfeeding and such...they'll likely understand their siblings and families that way. I've never been one for "cute" falsehoods like the stork, or the cabbage patch, or the birds and the bees. If you don't give the right information, they'll learn some other way between ages 9-14 and then get the idea that it's not something they can talk about with parents because it makes them uncomfortable. Better to keep open communication, no?

Teaching about something is far different from encouraging it, and taboos are all that much more "exciting" to explore than things taught in school...

This topic (Kids & Sex Ed) seems threatening only because the parents themselves never learned the facts of life and - truth be told - still know next to nothing. Sex is really very simple and shorn of cultural baggage can be enormously rewarding. No doubt this will come as a shock to many readers but what else would one expect in a frustrated, fixated culture?

Absolutely baffles me that people persist in talking about the programme teaching small children about sex. It simply teaches them about their bodies in an age-appropriate way.

Anyone who has had kids in their lives knows that they're curious. You've a limited number of options when they ask those awkward questions about their bodies, other kids' bodies, your body, where babies come from, etc.:

* Lie. Telling them total lies is a great way to get them totally confused about appropriate boundaries as they get older, grow poor body-images, and batter self-esteem.

* Get angry/embarrassed and change the subject. Reacting out of fear/shame is another great way to get them totally confused about appropriate boundaries as they get older, grow poor body-images, and batter self-esteem.

* Tell them stuff they can't understand. Explaining things at a level they can't understand is yet another great way to get them totally confused about appropriate boundaries as they get older, grow poor body-images, and batter self-esteem.

* Tell them how their bodies work and where babies come from in an age-appropriate way. Talking sensibly with them about what's going on in ways that make sense to them and don't engender fear or shame is a great way to create responsible, self-respecting young people who defer sex until they're emotionally mature enough to deal with it.

QED.