Stuck

As a male, I really hope you are NOT blaming ME for the way I FEEL. If there is a man that you are repulsed by, I'm sure you are justified in forgoing the opportunity to sleep with him. Likewise, it is not intelligence that turns a man off, but rather the low tact display of it. (Perhaps such women should develop their social intelligence as well...)

Smart girls are absolutely sexy, just as wealthy men are absolutely sexy. But would you find every wealthy man sexy? Of Course NOT!!! Many wealthy men simply lack the personality traits to go along with their wealth. And perhaps the same is true for smart girls -- some smart girls simply lack the other personality traits (such as being sociable, kind, and caring -- the same way I treat my woman).

I don't see intelligence as merely a female problem though I do admit it's a problem for females to a larger extent than males. Intellect in general is seen as some kind of social leprosy simply because we like to "know alot of things" and "use big words". I am all for females being a smart powerful sex, perhaps because I think of myself as an above intelligence male who is all for equality of the sexes. I can however admit that the male ego is so fragile that higher intelligence from males or females will disrupt the delicacy of the male with such ease that it is inevitable that it will be met with ambiguity. I think also that females experience similar frustrations in a different way. While they may idealize intelligent sophisticated men, I have found that when they do interact with such a male, many believe they are being belittled by them when the male decides to address issues such as art, politics, science, philosophy etc. It seems something of a paradox that both genders idealize this idea of smart, sexy and sophisticated but few are actually ready to accept it when it crosses their paths.

It's those oh-so-fragile male egos and male insecurity that causes such acidic reactions to an obviously intelligent woman. And likewise it's female insecurity when it happens from the other side.

But I think the answer is twofold - the above being one factor.

The other is that males are taught in our society to be in control, dominant, smart, and powerful and are generally admired for that. Women on the other hand - not so much. It's discouraged, in fact - lest they be called b*tches, "dragon ladies", names equated to female body parts, prostitutes, or whatever. Women can't get by with so much of that behavior without some abuse over it - much more abuse than males get over the same.

Those societal expectations carry over into intelligence/intellect. Men are expected to be smarter and more intelligent - to know more. They're forced into that role just like women are forced into a role of subordination - sometimes acting like they aren't so knowledgeable or strong or in control - to avoid being negatively labelled by doing so - just like Ms. Trimble was.

So I think it's both:

1. insecurity on the part of both sexes when it happens, and;
2. the conditioning and expectations of our society that causes such caustic reactions to intelligent women like Ms. Trimble - conditioning and expectations which, bytheway, only feeds those insecurities.

The biggest part of this lies in the fact that many of these responses are from the internet, which is generally a safe haven for every persons first thought. The internet feels anonymous (even when you identify yourself), so every person feels that they need no filter or to even think about what they say before they put it into words.

Looking at the, most male knee-jerk reactions to a strong female presence, especially if your looking at a quiz show persona (quick, confident answers) then men especially are going to usually fall all over themselves. But if she isn’t within the mans formed expectations of beauty, he’s going to be pissed that he was tricked. So he’s going to attack her in his own insecurity. Women do similar things, but mostly to feel competitive.

I'm smart. I'm successful. I'm sexually active. I'm a woman. For these reasons, I've been called a lot of nasty names that translate, in polite society, to "castrating" or "difficult."

I have never considered dating a man for whom my intelligence poses a problem, largely because I can hardly carry on a *conversation* with a loser like that. The relationship simply never gets started. That's fine with me. There are plenty of dumb girls out there who will be happy to put up with that attitude. I just feel sorry for them, sorrier for their daughters. The guys are missing out, but it's their choice (and their insecurity that motivates it).

My very smart mother taught me to use my intelligence, to make good choices. We can decide who is worth our time. We can decide how much we care about what other people say about us.

Our species needs to do a lot of growing up. Part of that is teaching men to not feel so threatened by a woman's power.

Happily enough, And Then You Grow Up!!

140 IQ. Scientist, freelance writer. Very happily married. NOT 26 anymore (thank whatever god you prefer...)