I'm all for the me generation actually. Better to be a little over the top on the 'mirror-mirror' then to adopt limiting beliefs. If you fall down, in most cases it will make you stronger anyway. The nice thing about being a little overconfidence is that you'll look for ways to achieve something. Not believing in something will just enforce evidence that supports it.

Being 'realistic' or 'historically accurate' is an exercise in mediocrity. So yes maybe saying 'you can do anything' repetitively gets a little cliche and a little trite. To do anything new you need to believe it. Without the beliefs of possibility you can not go beyond what you yourself and other people expect and thought was possible.

The friends I have who have 'realistic' and 'accurate' awareness about their abilities are also the ones that settle and lead lives they're not all too excited about (actually in most cases they vastly underestimate, because overconfidence is often judged as a bad thing by others).

We also seem to forget that having dreams that are 'unattainable by statistical probability' do not have to detract from the experience of having a dream. Let's say you feel you are a superstar singer. If you feel that, even if you are not, what does it matter?

The ironic thing is that the Idols contestants most people really feel poorly about and ridicule are the ones that keep on believing in their 'image' even though they get a boatload of criticism (when a 'reality check' doesn't come through). It's seems at though they are impenetrable of 'logical' thought, the only other explanation we make is that they must be stupid. They rob us from an almost cynical shared feeling by the public that the person should be 'punished' and adjust to a more realistic type of thinking (keep-it-real-for-us syndrome I guess?). But for whom do they need to be realistic anyway?

I think those people that are oblivious to public opinion are great teachers of feeling good about yourself in the presence of overwhelming objection and rejection. Not a bad thing.

Hi Anneli :)

This part of the show has always been a guilty pleasure of mine as well as baffled me. Thanks for the amusing explanation..

It seems like such a delicate balance to create a confident yet realistic child. You try to give them a positive self-image, and they end up being publically humiliated on American Idol. You criticize them too much and they end up with no self-esteem or become self-destructive. You shelter them too much, and they end up a "super-truster" who gets hurt later in adulthood anyway versus the kid raised in a hostile environment who doesn't trust anyone..

I've always been a fan of the quote by Goethe,"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." And I guess that is true in part, but this goal/dream should also have some sort of truth litmus test associated with it so one can know if they're wasting their time (as I'm sure some of these AI kids feel later). Although, I wonder if they still refuse to take the dose of self-awareness with them anyway and continue on their delusional path..

All of those Disney movies were the worst, too. My little girlfriends and I seriously though that love happened like that with Prince Charmings and all..

I've also wondered if it's unhealthy to have your kids growing up with Santa Klaus and the Easter Bunny, too..

I guess all forms of delusion work themselves out in the end, it just doesn't HAVE to be that way.

Thanks :)
YG

To me, part of the balance between confidence and realism is being taught how to deal with failure. It hurts to face an impossible challenge after being told "you can succeed at anything you put your mind to". After all, if I'm supposed to be able to succeed at everything if I try hard enough, but no matter how hard I try I can't succeed at A, then maybe I can't succeed at anything by trying hard.

This creates a bit of a trap where you HAVE to succeed at something you've put your mind to, even if you are pretty sure it can't be done, or else you are a loser who can't succeed at anything. It can take some guidance to realize that just because you can't do A doesn't mean you can't do B.

That's my two cents anyway.

You're so right -- learning to fail is one of the most important lessons we can experience in this life. None of us ever WANTS to fail, but it's bound to happen, and if we know how to bounce back, then we'll also know how to seek other things to try. It's all about resilience....