Stuck

I believe that most of adult people are a child inside,whether in the past,or the present,or the coming days.Maybe we find it more interesting or more enjoyable,or more easy to have a childish core,Could we deduce that this is one of the human natures?
A story I just read may prove this theory.A priest concluded in his memoirs that there is no grow-up person in the globe after he had got countless confessions in his life.
I find your posts pretty interesting.

Eh, seems a lot of worry over nothing. She probably didn't *really* want to meet you for coffee, just a polite formality to say such things.

I have the feeling described here everyday of my life. I often feel as though I have the emotional intelligence of a 15 year old. But because I have a more mature rationality (or should I say discipline?), I often find my self "acting out" whatever I suspect is the adult response to situations. The "adult" response is not usually the same as the instinctive response. I think that this "suppression" of the child (ie, natural) reaction is the reason I get depressed sometimes. Below is the link to a blog posted in PT that also speaks to this issue, though from a slightly different angle:

http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/200812/those-pitied-...

Son, when you grow up you will know who I really am.
I am just a child like you who has been forced to act responsibly.

-Rod Byrnes

Adults, unlike children, have the vocabulary to rationalize their behavior. When a child is stuck, not knowing what to do, she says "I don't know what to do." An adult labels her indecisive. When the adult experiences the same mental state, she says "I'm being thoughtful, considering possible avenues of action before moving forward."

I myself have moments where I see myself behaving like a teenager and I am 44 years old. The King of Pop was the primary example. He didn't have the opportunity of enjoying childhood as he was thrown into the limelight so early. I don't mean disrespect with this comment. I love him!

Grandma says we grow up when we die

I understand your fear and this is one of the first articles I've read that describes the tremendous stress of every day life for those of us who's inner child has not fully integrated into our personalities because of childhood trauma. I have a very rewarding but difficult job as a hospice chaplain. You are right that stressful jobs are particularly challenging for us and I pay a tremendous personal price for doing what I've been educated to do and love to do. I just want to say to the author that to admit to the anguish that a simple thing like an inviatation on a Christmas card can evoke, in fact takes a lot of courage and is, in itself, a sign of maturity. It is immature not to accept reality. When you accept the reality of a chronic struggle of this nature, you are not childish. Far from it. Everyone is both childsh and childlike at times but a chronic mental injury goes far beyond this and is a tragic reminder of the lifelong cost of child abuse. There are those, including perpetrators, who would fear interactions with others for far worse reasons.

I understand your fear and this is one of the first articles I've read that describes the tremendous stress of every day life for those of us who's inner child has not fully integrated into our personalities because of childhood trauma. I have a very rewarding but difficult job as a hospice chaplain. You are right that stressful jobs are particularly challenging for us and I pay a tremendous personal price for doing what I've been educated to do and love to do. I just want to say to the author that to admit to the anguish that a simple thing like an inviatation on a Christmas card can evoke, in fact takes a lot of courage and is, in itself, a sign of maturity. It is immature not to accept reality. When you accept the reality of a chronic struggle of this nature, you are not childish. Far from it. Everyone is both childsh and childlike at times but a chronic mental injury goes far beyond this and is a tragic reminder of the lifelong cost of child abuse. There are those, including perpetrators, who would fear interactions with others for far worse reasons.

Unfortunately, this is a very real and serious condition. My 52 year old ex-husband is stuck in the mentality of a troublesome teenager. He came from divorced parents; his Grandfather died when he was 10. Basically, no one took an interest in him from them on - they were too busy working and re-building their own lives. He never developed past that teen stage and does many of the same things that a very rebellious teenager would do: drives around with music blaring, squeals his tires, drives way too fast, picks fights with people constantly - he will take any negative attention he can get, rather than no attention at all. At 50, he started dating a 22 year old stripper; since then he has been arrested (for fighting with her) numerous times. He rationalizes it and says, "this is the South; everyone gets arrested at least once; it's no big deal". The reason I'm still "vested" is because we have 2 small sons together. Our sons are no longer allowed to sleep at his house since the relationship with he and his girlfriend is so volatile. He then tells me that "they broke up" but then tells my sons to lie and not tell Mommy that the 22 yr stripper girlfriend was there when they visit. (I actually think he keeps her around because it garners negative attention from me) My big problem is that my kids look up to him, however, he is a terrible role model and it, quite frankly, scares me. He is teaching them all the wrong things (swearing, acting up, being a rebellious teenager, etc.). He says his life is great and that he doesn't need any help. He says that I'm the one who needs help because I'm so "uptight". I pray every day that he eventually seeks help and gets his life together. Will it ever happen or is way too late?

I'm 25 and I feel like this all the time. Its's a bit strange because my fiance is 3 years older than me and i get so nervous as to how I should act around her family. Trying to do the more grown up thing that I think would make them more accepting of me. And don't get me started on parties! In those situations it feels as if my brain is going to explode and I always feel the need to retreat to find a "safe" zone. But I do contain it and try to push through to at least have some semblance of a life, after all, who wants to be the lame guy?