Sure, I tried to keep the promises and vows that we agreed would define our relationship, but it was more a matter of honoring the word than understanding the spirit of our agreements. Read More
-----" I began to appreciate the many blessings and benefits of sharing a relationship with a loving, supportive partner."
You had, over the long haul, a partner with whom was satisfactory. That was the key to where you are at today.
If you don't have that sort of loving and supportive partner, then you would not be experiencing the "joys of commitment".
There were times in our past together where the commitment was weak and shaky and we suffered for it. When the commitment got strong again, it was a powerful infusion of good will, trust, and enjoyment.
Mary is correct. The difference in my own satisfaction levels with my current relationship and a failed relationship in the past is night and day. With my partner, I am stronger, better, happier. With my ex, I was better off alone.
Commitment is a mighty force and can promote a terrific relationship.
Stockholm Syndrome, anyone?
Really?!?!?! Come on, this is about growth and maturity...things we all struggle with.
If you already love yourself and don't need the approval of others, is commitment really any better than a lack thereof?
Loving ourselves surely does allow us to be more self-referential and less in need of approval from others. And one of the ways we learn to love ourselves is through the admiration and validation of others.
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Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W., and Charlie Bloom, M.S.W., are the authors of Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples About Lasting Love.
It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.