Strictly Casual

What research tells us about the whos, whys, and hows of hookups

Would You Have a Threesome with Two Opposite-Sex Partners?

Threesomes and other forms of group sex are ever more visible in the public sphere, yet little research examines people’s interest in and experiences with different group sex configurations. A new study provides insight into women’s desires for a threesome with two men, and men’s desires for a threesome with two women. Read More

I have

I'm surprised! I have had two guys, sometimes three and it's amazing! Women are capable of so much more sexually. But we are afraid to experiment and let ourselves live out our sexual fantasies.

I'm surprised, too

Male-male-female threesomes are a very popular category of women's erotica. Clearly this is a common female fantasy.

I agree and think that women

I agree and think that women are just too afraid to express their true desires. When I bring it up to my women friends, they all say they wish they could do it.

Safety

I think for many of us women, including the 1 in 4 women that are rape victims (and hopefully survivors), in order to enjoy sex we need 2 things, we need to feel safe and we need to feel respected. I MIGHT feel respected with 2 dudes, though I think I'd feel more like part of a sexual circus act/live porn experience, and I would definitley not ever feel safe if outnumbered. Guys are already stronger than us, so we have to trust them when getting down to it, as it were, but two? No way. Just. No. Way.

"It also carries all sorts of

"It also carries all sorts of physical safety and power dynamics concerns".

I think this hits the nail on the head. It's not so much the social taboo of women wanting 'too much' sex, it's the fact that most women are mindful of the dangers both in terms of physical and psychological health and personal safety. I also think men are more interested in threesomes and gang bangs because it's a classic porn script. Men use pornography more than women and are thus conditioned to desire threesomes and group sex to a higher degree.

Personally I don't think gang bangs can ever be consensual. The power dynamics are too unequal and there is the potential for a woman to go into shock and become unable to give consent. The human body is not designed to take that kind of aggressive and relentless force without a physical and psychological impact.

offensive

"Personally I don't think gang bangs can ever be consensual." Why would you say this? As a woman, I find the idea that I'm unable to consent to sexual activity incredibly offensive.

I agree completely. Totally

I agree completely. Totally offensive.

Re; "Personally I don't think gang bangs can ever be consensual"

If everyone is considerate and consents, why not? In fact, it's not that uncommon, especially in swinger settings, and also in isolated circumstances where women have privately arranged them for novelty, fulfilling a fantasy, or whatever. Just because you personally wouldn't consent to it doesn't mean others can't.

If you're a skillful Internet search engine user, it wouldn't take you long to verify this.

"Gang bangs can't be

"Gang bangs can't be consensual?" Have you ever watched Sasha Grey?? A woman can go into shock??? Or she can be enjoying the hell out of it. Yeah, probably looks the same to you.

sure they can be consensual

I don't have to rely on a Youtube channel or prepackaged public comments to tell you that it can be consensual. I personally know a woman who arranged a private and consensual gang bang for the fun and novelty of it. It was all discussed and agreed-upon beforehand with her and a group of considerate men she knew well (think swinger-type of community). It was a carefully planned and very private event, kind of like a role-play scene to suit her fantasies perfectly.

So, yes consensual gang bangs DEFINITELY can happen.

Totally Offensive

Newsflash: Andrea Dworking is dead.

And I'm a bad speller.

And I'm a bad speller.

Totally Offensive

Newsflash: Andrea Dworkin is dead.

Stripper Hookups

I've dated a number of strippers over the years. They are adventurous, comfortable with their own bodies, and love to have sex. In addtion, every one of them enjoyed hooking up with another stripper and having me tag along. I think many (most?) strippers are bisexual, so it was pretty easy pickings. For the most part, the experiences were enjoyable. So if you can get over the jealousy of having your GF pleased by another woman just as well or better than you can, dating strippers may be the way to go.

Always start with reproductive strategies....

Everything biological has a logic - based on reproductive success, by definition.

Well, reproductive success prob 1mm yrs ago...in our mammal and primate ancestors mainly...

One problem with the numbers

One problem with the numbers: if five times as many men are reporting having had threesomes, and it takes two women for each threesome, I'd expect to see either more women having reported threesomes or women reporting having been in more threesomes. In both cases, men far outweighed the women's numbers, meaning either men are over-reporting, women are under-reporting, or (I suspect), both.

Not Necessarily

That would only apply if they surveyed almost everyone on Earth.

As it is, there are billions of women that could potentially be extremely interested in mfm threesomes who were not interviewed for this survey. Just because they weren't included doesn't mean that they don't exist. Since they weren't included, the numbers seem off.

Not Necessarily

That would only apply if they surveyed almost everyone on Earth.

As it is, there are billions of women that could potentially be extremely interested in mfm threesomes who were not interviewed for this survey. Just because they weren't included doesn't mean that they don't exist. Since they weren't included, the numbers seem off.

yes, these numbers beg an obvious question!!

From the article:

"Finally, only 2% of women said they’ve already had an MFM (and all of those had only one such experience); by comparison, a full 10% of men said they’ve had an FMF (and half of these reported more than one such experience, with the “luckiest ones” reporting up to 20)."

For this to be true in the general population, there would have to be a lot of women participating in threesomes, or a few women are VERY busy! If you assume these are novelty experiences and it's the first time for the women, then if 10% of men have had FMF's, then 20% of women have had FMF's.

To summarize, the glaring question is, just who the heck are all these women that the 10% of men have had FMFs with??? You need twice the number of women as men to do this!!!

the researchers didn't ask

Except that the authors didn't ask women whether they'd had a FMF threesome. I can't imagine why.

I think there was a great

I think there was a great deal of bias in not asking about MFM and FFM threesomes. What they have there is half a survey; totally incomplete.

Not so common

I only ever met one woman in my entire life that would (and did) participate in a multiple partner encounter. She was fun!

are you for real?

What kind of idiot article is this? you would think Ph.D would mean they have some smarts to them , but I guess Ph.D isn't all that anymore...geez

where are all these females

where are all these females experiencing a FMF are coming from? not from statistics i suppose

So far off base

What a complete downer of an article. If you're going to do an article on group sex, then you should know how to go about it. Also, I hate generalizations and so called statistics, in this case they couldn't be more off. As a woman, I have had lots of MFM sex. It's fantastic, so much attention in different areas at the same time, what woman would not love that? Ones that have never done it. The main problem I've had with finding MFM are homophobic men. They think they will be doing each other when actually they will barely touch, but they can;t get over being in a room with another guy. Such a huge drag too. Every experience I've had has been earth moving, magical, extremely satisfying and exciting. This article is a complete waste of time and effort. Read some of your comments her and on the Facebook thread to find out what is really happening with threesomes.

Been there done that.

First, we can't trust survey data on this thing. My wife has had several MFM's (and FMF's) over the last few years but would NEVER feel comfortable putting it down on a survey. Thats not the kind of thing she wants identified with her even if the survey was "anonymous". As a researcher myself I know how sometimes things are less anonymous than they should be.

Secondly, while FMF is the kind most couples WANT to get, its also a lot harder to get then an MFM. Men are more "sexually adventurous" but also more hard up for sex. As a swinger, you see 100's of horny guys just begging to get ANY sex, while single females who want couples are treated like queens (the term used is "unicorns" and you can guess why).

Having been involved in this sort of thing now for a long time, I think the problem here is that women are less likely to admit their fantasies of this nature, but believe me they like the idea.

I wonder if there aren't a

I wonder if there aren't a lot of women who would not actually do the MMF thing but enjoy the fantasy with their partner and a dildo. I've had a couple girlfriends who got off in a big way doing that, while neither them nor I had any interest in seeking out an actual threesome.

I've had a half a dozen MFM.

I've had a half a dozen MFM. They sucked with boyfriends and were fantastic with non boyfriends. I'm dying for more but shockingly am having a hard time setting them up. Seems that the men prefer to seduce you into it rather than you be blunt and invite it.

The median age of respondents

The median age of respondents was 21. That says a lot right there. What it says to me is 'kids with little adult life-experience.'

Also -- what people say and what they do is typically miles and eons and light years apart. Self-reported surveys aren't worth the pixels they're printed with. But that's what psychologists endlessly regurgitate cuz it's pretty much all they have. And as long as the public remains in thrall to the latest 'study' on college kids, well the psychs will keep making their house payments. Welcome to the new-age snake-oil, suckers. Drink it down and you'll live forever, right?

btw ... I've never met a woman who was interested in random sex unless she was interested in a guy who was interested in random sex and she was trying to hang onto him. Suckers.

I didn't even catch that the

I didn't even catch that the study had a median age of 21. Yea, thats going to really color the responses. When I was in college we used to get these sorts of things in our campus mail box all the time and they got hilarious results do to selection bias.

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Zhana Vrangalova, Ph.D., studies how various expressions of sexuality are related to psychological health and wellbeing.

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