A Simple Formula for Getting Noticed & Getting Laughs

When I made the transition from being a comic to professional speaker, I learned that not all things that worked in a comedy club were appropriate for a corporate audience. Note to self: don’t mention “nipples” when speaking at PNC Bank. So how does one get laughs and hit a home run at corporate events?

Finding the big secret changed my approach. Instead of talking about my foibles, my childhood, my family, I now address everyone’s favorite topic: themselves.

Audiences, regardless of composition, never tire of hearing about themselves. Because of social media, we are continually evaluating ourselves. We take tests on Facebook, count our followers on Twitter and feel pumped up by recognition online. The new, “If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it… did it make a noise?” is, “If something happens and I don’t note it on FB and get a respectable number of comments, am I a loser?” We are consumed by “likes,” “retweets,” and "pokes," signs that we’ve been heard, the online version of applause. Bottom line is we all need an audience.

Both onstage and off, I make an effort to acknowledge others. And so can you. Everything you create, market and post should be infused with, “It’s all about them.” Take yourself out of the equation, and make someone happy.

Before every speaking gig, I call up several people who will be in my audience and chat about THEIR lives. (The specific questions I ask them are in “The Message of You.”) The results have been exciting as everyone responds to getting attention. Bill Clinton knows this, and now you do, too.

This same technique has had a dramatic effect on all my interactions as I make sure to recognize and appreciate each person I meet, looking and noting what makes him or her unique. It’s especially appreciated by those who are most invisible. Acknowledgement reminds us of our humanity. In short, be the enthusiastic audience for those you meet.

THE BIG EXPERIMENT

For a month, I made an effort to truly SEE the people around me.

1. At McDonald’s –I asked the young man behind the counter, “Do you notice that older people give exact change more often than younger people?” He was thrilled to be asked something only he could answer. After pausing to think, he said, “Yes, older people do give exact change.” As I counted out new pennies to give him exact change, he smiled at me and said, “Nobody has ever asked me that. Wow, I didn’t realize what I know.” He clearly felt important.
2. As I was about to have a surgical procedure, a tech approached me with an electric shaver. I asked, “What is that for?” She told me, “I’m here to shave your groin.” I asked her, “As a woman with your experience in groin shaving, do more people have curly or straight public hair?” After she stopped laughing, she answered, “Curly.”
3. At a tollbooth, I asked the tollbooth woman, “Working at a toll booth, do you find that all your relationships are short termed?” I didn’t get an answer as the person behind me was honking, forcing me to move on. I’m still wondering about her life, but felt I’d made some slight amount of contact.
4. I asked the young man working hard to get me a scoop of Pralines and Cream at Baskin & Robbins if one of his arms was considerably stronger than the other. He stopped and stared at me. It was as if no one had ever noticed him before to express an interest. He said, “Yes, I lower weights when working at the gym on my left side.”
5. At an underground parking lot, I asked the attendant, “Do you take Vitamin D to make up for the lack of sunlight in your life?” He said, “I don’t speak English.” Even so, I felt we’d had more of a connection than if I’d said nothing.
6. When the cashier at Ralph’s asked for my phone number after I’d written a check, I said, “I’m married so please don’t call after 6pm as I won’t know how to explain you.” He stared at me and then let out a laugh and said, “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.”
7. When traveling alone going through the TSA line, the TSA security person asked the man behind me if we were together, He said, “No, we are not together.” I then quipped, “That’s not what you said last night!” I then asked her, “Does seeing everyone as a potential terrorist make dating difficult?” We had another laugh as she said, “Well… I make them take off their shoes.” Another laugh, and two strangers in a stressful situation, share a laugh and create a moment of joy.

These minimal efforts change an ordinary moment into something fun that’s more personal. Give attention to others and it comes back around. It takes no more time and makes everything so much richer – for others and for me.

Coming soon, Judy’s new Interactive Journal: “Finding Extraordinary Stories in an Ordinary Day”

Sign up for casting notices, workshop alerts, and other good stuff for speakers, writers, & comics at judycarter.com