What if you write to your lost love, wait with high expectations, and get no response? Does that mean you are rejected?

Not necessarily, but it can still be very painful to reach out and get nothing in return.

I hear from many people who were contacted by their lost loves, but they didn't write back and don't intend to. They don't know how to handle the contact, so they write to me. Many of these people are middle-aged men.

One reason they don't write back is because they are married and don't want to rock the boat. Or, a married man may write just once: a very simple, dismissive note, then no answer to the lost love's second note. It may not be because he doesn't have feelings for his lost love - indeed, he may have too many positive feelings and he can't handle these emotions.

Or, people do not respond because they do not have leftover feelings for their ex-sweethearts; they don't want to hurt the person, but they have nothing to say to him/her and may even think it is strange that this person is writing to them.

Others retain bad feelings from the initial romance, not just the breakup. Let's say someone contacts a lost love to make an apology (it's usually the man) for treating her badly when they were young, even though he loved her. He was an immature adolescent and didn't have good relationship/communication skills. So he writes to her, as a mature and caring adult, to apologize. This may unleash anger in her, anger that she was too young to recognize or process years ago; back then, she was depressed over his actions, but now as an adult, she recognizes that he wasn't very nice to her. She realizes that her depression was actually disguised anger (women often turn anger inward and experience anger as depression). She does not respond, no matter how many times he writes. She doesn't like him, and he is left to heal himself, forgive himself; this is very hurtful to him.