A lot of people get anxious or sad around the holidays. For some people, the idea of getting together with family is stressful. For others, having no family to share the holidays with is stressful. And this year in particular, many people have lost their jobs and their homes!
I can't cheer up anyone who has lost so much, but if you have garden variety seasonal blues, here are 5 ideas to perk you up:
1) If you are feeling sorry for yourself because everyone has a significant other and you don't, get out your phone and call or text some old high school friends -- people you are already in touch with through Facebook or long-lost friends -- just to say hello and wish them happy holidays. They will feel great that you thought about them during this season and you, in turn, will feel appreciated and connected.
2) You can use use the holidays as an excuse to contact a lost love, too. Have you always thought about contacting a "special someone," but were afraid to? Send a simple e-card, and maybe add, "Thinking of you this holiday season and wondering how you are doing. I'd enjoy hearing from you when you get a moment." If your old flame responds with an email, there you go! If you get no response, it was only a generic e-card so you won't feel foolish about the contact.
Some people won't respond because they are married, not because they aren't interested in you, so don't assume! And your lost love may surprise you and write later. But never do this if you are married; you have no idea how devastating these reconnections can be for you, a lost love, and your families!
3) Attending a holiday party? Worried about greeting guests you haven't seen in a long time? Break the ice before you get together. Send some cute e-cards (or even snail mail cards, which can be more impressive to some recipients): "Looking forward to seeing you again!" That will make them feel special, so by the time they arrive, it will feel like you were together just yesterday.
4) This is a good time to heal an old rift. Is there someone you were once close to (a former friend, ex-spouse, coworker, estranged relative)? The holiday season is a great time to heal old wounds. Send some cookies or a small box of candy -- aren't Internet gift sites convenient? -- with a simply note that says, "It's been a long time. Let's put the past behind us. Happy holidays."
5) A sure way to feel better is to stop thinking about yourself and go out and do some volunteer work. Right now. Help your elder neighbor with the yard work, serve meals at your local food shelter, go to a park and feed the ducks. Leaving your own concerns and thinking of others is a real day brightener.
Do you see the pattern here?: Reach out to people!
And remember, it's just a few days and then your life will go back to normal.
Happy Chanukah or Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!
Copyright 2010 by Nancy Kalish, Ph.D.
