Stepmonster

Stephanie, excellent post with great suggestions. I think parents need to look at computers and cell phones as privileges, not necessities. It's not unlike when your child gets their first car. There has to be monitoring, boundaries, etc. when being allowed to use the car. I can assure parents that they better believe their children are texting well into the wee hours of the morning on school nights. The power that parents have at this age is the money they provide for items like computers, cell phones and cars. I'm often surprised at the helplessness parents express over what to do with their children who are up to 10,000 text messages a month (the average is 1800-2000/month)! Take the phones away at night. Take the computers away. We certainly wouldn't let our kids drive around in the middle of the night to interact with their friends.

And let our children get mad at us. I say a teenager who is mad at their parents usually means they have a parent who is giving them structure and boundaries. When my teen children said, "I hate you for this", I would smile and say, "Good, you've just confirmed that I'm doing a great job as a parent." They didn't run away, disown me or go uzi at the local high school campus. In fact, the boundaries ultimately improved the relationship.

One other thing: Parents should never try to use their teenage experiences as a way to teach their children. They don't care. Because at this age, it's all about them and their parents just don't "get it". Talk yes...but remember with teens, less is more. Boundaries connect. Again, excellent article.

I saw a show on PBS about internet addiction in Korea, I think. It was about boys who play online games until they drop from exhaustion. Sometimes they don't sleep or eat for days. In Korea, it IS considered an illness.

They have special programs for these boys, where they go to live at a special school where they have no access to computers. I don't know what happens when they get out of this "rehab."

Kudos to "Melanie"'s parents.

Too many "experts" advise parents that putting
limits on media (or junk food) is a bad idea because
kids will just rebel and want it (whatever has been limited)
even more.

So good for her parents for putting their foot
down and limiting a harmful activity.

-----

Great article!

I'm one of those weird parents not afraid to impose limits on all things electronic. Junior's XBOX has been disconnected and under my bed for the last year - my husband and I grounded him from it until he moves out.

Texting on his cell phone? After he rang up an $80 texting bill on my phone plan, I blocked his ability to text.

Got a girlfriend? No phone calls after 9PM.

Facebook? After monitoring his inappropriate use of it, I got his user ID and password, made him delete his account and then I went back in and changed his email setting on it so that he could not reactivate it.

Good grief, I sound more and more like my mom...

(and that's a good thing!)

Peggy

www.reputationdefender.com is an excellent site to go to in order to protect your children. They are very affordable and can help parents monitor what is going on for their children on-line.

TL;DR