Stepmonster

The girl who forwarded the picture from the boyfriend's phone without permission should have been punished for violating their privacy, as should have been those kids who taunted, abused, and threw food and drink at her.

This entire event is upsetting and disgusting.

I just watched the docco "Inside Deep Throat" about the implications that film, and the scandal around it, had on our culture. In one part of the film, an old "filmmaker" points out that many of the things in the movie were considered smut because they weren't mainstream (ie, fellatio) but nowadays kids don't even consider this sex.
I feel it's much the same with sexting - kids don't consider this sex and so don't consider that there are consequences attached to it. As a stepmom to a burgeoning teenager, it's scary to think about what kind of trouble he can get into via text, Facebook etc. It's hard to monitor it all the time (especially in a two-home family) but devastating stories like these serve to remind us all just how important it is to truly parent.
Thanks.

Kela Price of www.blendedfamilysoapopera.com was unable to post this comment--it was classified as spam for some reason--so I am posting it here for her.

Wednesday, I completely agree with the very valid points that you made in this article. Adults must learn to distinguish between the situations where it's appropriate to turn to some form of punishment and when to use compassion and understanding when it comes to teaching and guiding teens and tweens. Like you said, kids make stupid decisions and choices sometimes, simply based on lack of experience in knowing the long-term consequences of those bad choices. The goal should be to get them to understand the potential long-term harmful effects of those bad decisions instead of solely relying on punishment to do so, especially when teens like Witsell already received their punishment by other teens humiliating her. Suspension and lack of compassion were the absolute last things that she needed at that time. In my opinion, the school is the most to blame because they were the only adults in the situation and could've handled the situation in a manner that enabled all of the teens, including the ones who were taunting and teasing, to learn from the situation.
*Kela*
www.blendedfamilysoapopera.com

Allstate, the car insurance company, has an ad about teenagers and driving and how they are pushing for a more graduated drivers license because they have statistics showing how many more 16 year olds get in accidents than 17 year olds, how many more 17 year olds get in car accidents than 18 year olds, etc. And it boils down to the development of the frontal lobe in the brain - you know, the part that controls decision making.

I solved the texting problem with my stepson. Not because he was sexting (that I know of) but because he rang up $80 in texting charges. I blocked texting on his phone.

Here's a thought parents...block texting on your child's cell phone. You as the parent have that authority. And Power.

Follow the Golden Rule...She who makes the gold, rules.

Block texting.

Just sayin'

:-)

Peggy

Teens and tweens today really need to be educated about the dangers of certain online activity including sexting. Another tragic case similar to Jessica's occurred a few months ago involving a 13 year old who took her own life after a sexting incident. Not only can this behavior lead to horrific emotional scars for teens, but they also need to be aware of the potential consequences such as felony prosecution and being required to register as a sex offender. For more on the possible consequences of sexting, see http://askthejudge.info/can-i-get-into-trouble-for-sexting/232/#more-232

As an educator, I am pleased to see this critical issue being discussed in this forum. The technology and the latitude it brings to children, along with access to messages that a range of media bombard them, far outpace adolescents' stage of emotional and cognitive development. This puts the onus on all relatives, whether by birth of current family constellation, to maintain a supportive clear, consistent and vigilant approach to discussing technology and media, its use and its messages on an ongoing basis. We cannot count on technology nor the companies that use it to market to children to think about the children's best interests, nor do children have the neural, physical nor emotional judgement and maturity to weigh these factors in real time. One thing all families can agree upon is the need to put children's best interests, safety and privacy first. The first step toward that goal is educating and constantly reminding children that values emanate from families rather than from external community rings and that they are not derived from those in the media. Another step is the daily example parents can set in keeping technology, media and its messages in context. Moreover, our daily example of maintaining perspective in technology use and in sharing information with those we know and trust create true neural and moral pathways for understanding how to develop good judgement and how to rely upon those we can trust. Thank you, Wednesday, for highlighting how critical this is - particularly for families where multiple members cherish and impact the children.

When it comes to sexting and my own teenage children, we have talked about how it is illegal for young teenagers to send or possess naked pictures on your phone. While I do afford them a good amount of privacy with their phones, I would not hesitate to confiscate their phones if I sensed any shenanigans or participation of bullying of any kind. We constantly stress treating the less fortunate and ill with sensitivity. You don't have to be friends with people you don't like, but you don't attempt or ever take a lead role in the assassination of someone's character. In fact, I would prefer my children took a lead role in putting an end to any bullying they encounter.

(Incidentally, even in regard to fully-clothed amateur photography, we continue to have discussions about asking permisssion to post and/or forward pictures. Just because somebody posed for a picture doesn't mean you own the image outright. And yes, girls and boys, posing with your tongue hanging out like a dog is at the very least inviting sexual ideations, and, at the most, slutty.)

With teenagers, however, taking a stand against their peers is very difficult and probably unrealistic in the over all social structure of humanity. Off-color humor, name-calling, and jokes are part of growing up. Teenagers are particularly cruel. You can, however, simply not take part in these kinds of activities, or distance yourself from those who do through silence.

And while my teenage children and I have also talked about young people who are depressed as being unavoidably sick and in need of doctor's care, same as a person with cancer, I've also stated that you don't ever want to be a part of any person's suicide, not in the least, even if you really cannot and should not be held responsible for a suicide. If you must distance yourself from a sick person, as we all sometimes must, don't do it via derisive and mocking behaviors, just let the relationship fade if it must.

Dealing with mental illness is obviously very complicated, particularly amongst teenagers in situations with less educated parents, communities, and school administrators. Keeping teenagers on the right and ethical track regarding cell phones requires the right combination of trust, respect, and vigilance.

...but somebody turns it into a way to smut up everybody's life! Yeeps!

"...it is hard to argue with the sense these two girls had that all is lost."

Huh? How did you come to that conclusion? Your own article disproves your assertion!

You yourself wrote that anywhere from 25% to 40% of all teens in the United States are sexting, and 17% of those have their pictures circulated without permission, and slightly more than half of all sexting is done by boys. There are approximately 33 million teens in the United States.

By my math, these two cases represent just 2 out of over 700,000 girls who meet that statistical profile, leading to a suicide rate of just 0.0003%! Even if you account for underreporting by a factor of 1000, you still have a very low percentage of teenage girls who commit suicide because of social exclusion originating in sexting.

In other words, hundreds of thousands of teenage girls have sexted, had their pictures circulated without permission, were likely slut-shamed ... and didn't commit suicide.

Now flip the perspective around: Of all teens who did commit suicide, far more teens did so because they are gay, for example, than sexting. And far more teenage boys complete suicide than teenage girls -- by a ratio of 4 to 1. And 90% of teens who commit suicide actually have depression or other mental health issue. (Sources: Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, National Conference of State Legislatures).

So if your agenda is to prevent teenage suicide, please explain why are you focusing on this narrowest of the narrow slice of the teenage population that is at risk?