Spycatcher

Its kinda like "skin starvation" in the elderly. We all need touching to stay alive..in the absence of touch we can die. If approriate at times I like to touch my clients arm or pat their back lightly to let them know I'm with them.

I would say its not just skin starvation it is Oxytocin starvation and we as a species thrive on the release of these chemicals. I think it is always good to touch where appropriate.

I have found the following PT blog on passive aggressiveness very enlightening and entertaning:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries

And it brought to mind Dr. John Gottman's research on relationships which use Dr. Ekman's findings on micro-expressions. And contempt is the indicator that a relationship is seriously troubled.

My question is, when dealing with someone who is using passive aggressiveness as their form of "communicating" anger, what are the nonverbal's that may accompany it? And how does one effectively and productively counter it using nonverbals and the skills in "The Angry Smile" book?

Thank you.

I agree that body language can give a lot of information, but more than that, your instincts tell you everything. Unless you are a person who really can't read people well, it's pretty obvious when things are going bad. When you look back, it's very clear, and the only thing that stopped you from knowing it consciously at the time was that you didn't want to know. So in the future, if a little doubt pops into your mind, entertain it, at least long enough to figure out if you're being crazy, or if this a hint of something that you need to keep on the backburner while you stay aware for more clues.

I agree. My partner and I now live in what is a long gone relationship. We are friends/roommates-nothing more. Frequently people meeting us at our son's baseball games do not even realize we are a 'couple' until it comes up. Even when things were still 'alive' if you can call it that, he insisted on taking a separate car to our son's baseball game-frequently stopping at Mickey D's for a huge meal for himself and bringing it with him. Never once offering us anything. He then proceeded to sit totally on the other side of the field from me while watching the game. People who didn't know us were often surprised we were aquainted. He often stated, when confronted by me on how hostile he was being,"Oh, I didn't know you two were hungry! Why didn't you say so?" He just doesn't get it. I own the house, the car and he just doesn't want to rock the boat until our son is grown. Ok, by me. He carries his financial weight, but emotionally-DOA for years.

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