Spycatcher

It's always amazing to be reminded of the behaviors (in this case non-verbal cues) that most people miss. You were clearly tuned into gestures from a very young age-most kids would not have noticed their grandmother's fleeting hand movements at the moment she was imperiled and again when she recounted the story. Clearly you found the right professional outlet for your keen eye. Thanks for the post.

I have a cockatiel bird and he loves it when people rub his neck. Often when we approach him and croon at him he will extend his neck and lower his head, allowing us to rub his neck.

Could it be that cockatiels have similar nerve endings in their neck?

Hey everyone! I'm trying to find people to take part in a short survey for my dissertation. It's about personality and coping strategies.

I'd REALLY, REALLY appreciate your help. It seems to be taking around 10 minutes on average.

Here is the link:

http://www.isurvey.soton.ac.uk/764

Although I'd appreciate ANYONE taking part, it would be really great to get some American participants as if I get enough, I'd like to perhaps compare US and UK coping strategies.

Thanks so much in advance for your help!!

Gillian xx

Is it distracting trying to eat dinner out and seeing things all around you that no one else can? I can imagine it's like Mel Gibson in "What Women Want"... very hard to tune out that you can see past what people are trying to convey.

I dont see it that way, but with a caveat. Being able to see nonverbals clearly truly enriches life. You see how a small child caress a simple object, and a father rubs the shoulder of his daughter, or the lovers intertwine hands for great connectivity. It gives more nuance to life. Like software this knowledge runs in the background. Yes more people are speaking to me, but thats ok. Conversely, I must admit there are times when I am saddened by the child whose behavior says my parents abuse me secretly, or the wife who is suffering from anxiety every time her husband speaks. They are all talking to me, and ocassionally it is sad or pathetic.

But for the most part, it is a wonderful way to see the world, it is a more honest way to see what is around you, it keeps you from being surprized by something that is currently going on and it certainly helps to keep you safer.

Joe Navarro, author of Louder Than Words www.jnforensics.com

Interesting! I experienced a lot of trauma due to a difficult living situation in the last 4 months. The situation is thankfully over, but I've observed in the last month or so that I often sit with my right hand at the left side of my neck--similar to the photo accompanying this article.

That is your limbic brain taking good care of you, letting you and others know that you are guarding the most vulnerable part of your body. It is also a way of recognizing that you are healing.

Good luck.

Joe Navarro
Author of What Every Body is Saying.

All very interesting but, I am constantly rubbing my neck only because I have knots and stiff muscles in the neck the often. So if I was talking to an FBI agent I would be presumed guilty of something, nervous, etc. ??

I also ring/rub my hands often, again because of pain in the joints.

No you wouldnt be presumed guilty of anything. Repetitive behaviors (strumming fingers, rubbing neck) are pacifiers if you do it all the time they are to be ignored, that is your base line. However, if the only time you touch your neck is when I ask do you own a silver 44 magnum, then we have to examine why the question would cause you to pacify if you dont do it at any other time.

There is no Pinocchio effect, no behavior indicative of deception, only behaviors indicative of stress. And if a particular question repeatedly causes you stress then the question is why. Not guilt, merely a behavior to make us wonder why.

Same for rubbing the hands, if that is norm than it is ignored except when it goes away. All behavior is governed by the brain and so the question is why do we see certain behaviors.
thanks for the Q. jn

I do think what you said in your post to Gloria is an important note. Some people just have tics in general that have little to do with nerves and a lot to do with habit. I tend to run my finger over the "suprasternal notch" (I think I spelled that right) whenever I'm not doing anything else. Just smoothing a finger from one little bone knob to another.

love your articles; they are so cool.

So how do you tell the difference between people doing it for a naturally defensive reason i.e. the mother in your story and perhaps someone who is a trained reactor, for example: a high functioning autie or aspie?

in otherwords, can FBI,CIA et al (okay, I'm a tin-hater in many ways) tell what they are telling about who? Or does it only work on run-of-the-mill humans? How many expressions/behaviors cross ethnicity?

As an amateur microbehavior enthusiast, i can feel ya on the abused kids, spouses etc. The ones that get me the most are the elderly.

This post was very interesting for me because I did not realize how important body movements with the neck were. I wrote an 11 page essay for my English Comp class and I learned several different non- verbal behaviors that told me a lot about the person’s personality traits. I’m sure for you being in the FBI you took courses to learn about the movements that people would make while lying or feeling uncomfortable. Some movements I learned that people make while lying is touching their face a lot, commonly their nose, avoiding eye contact and as you mentioned touching the neck. I enjoyed reading your post because body language interests me a lot because it consists of the majority of communication between people.

Thank for your kind comments. I am afraid we know a lot more now, face touching is not indicative of deception, it is merely how people deal with stress and that comes from guilty knowledge or it can be from the tone of voice of the person asking questions or the amount of people in the room or how close they sit to you. So a lot of what we use to believe about body language and lies is simply not supported by science.

Thank you Joe Navarro