Snow White Doesn't Live Here Anymore

Laughter, Pleasure, Malice, and the Pursuit of Adult Fun

Gina Barreca, Ph.D. is Professor of English at UConn, and author of It's Not That I'm Bitter: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World. See full bio

July 4, 2009

Why Men Ultimately Reject Passive Women: Delicate Flower II

Like the princess who couldn't sleep because she felt the tiny pea under all those mattresses, the helpless darling is more often regarded sympathetically as a dainty creature who needs all the help she can get just to survive in this cruel world.

She makes others--especially men--feel necessary.

When you complain about her, you're seen as insensitive and bullying, a workhorse of a woman who remains untouched by finer sensibilities. Read More

July 2, 2009

Are You a Delicate Flower?

Please say no, you're not a Delicate Flower; please tell me you're not a DF.

Because she's one kind of broad I just can't stand.

You know the one I'm describing here, right? She the princess of pain; she's the queen of whine and roses, except the roses always have too many thorns. Read More

June 29, 2009

The Emotional Menage-a-Trois

One man offers security and dependability, and the other offers adventure and freedom.

We all want everything. Is that so difficult to understand?

Examining the reasons why we carve people up into these categories is the first step in understanding the emotional menage-a-trois desired by some women, and lived by others. Read More

June 27, 2009

Replaceable Wives

The wife as volunteer muse/amanuensis/typist/editor/proofreader is not an unusual series of roles for a woman to assume. What is unusual for the wife in such a situation is getting any acknowledgement for her contributions, aside from a few words in the front of the book that can be altered with each edition. Being supportive of a spouse in his or her work is, surely, what one expects.

When that support translates into doing another person’s work as if it were one’s own, however, the dynamic changes drastically. The male author does not see his wife as a co-author, even if she positions herself in such a manner. The dust jacket will boast his name, the check arrive with his social security number, and all fame will be awarded to him.

It is not true that behind every famous man stands a good woman, but what is true is that anyone standing behind someone else is necessarily overshadowed by them. Read More

June 21, 2009

Crying at Work: A Good Thing?

Writes my pal Gene Weingarten in The Washington Post "Because women are attending grad schools in record numbers, and because male CEOs have screwed things up so publicly, Gina thinks women are soon going to dominate American business -- and feminize it." Read More

June 19, 2009

Risk and Television: My Mastermind Story

At one BBC party, as I was trying to shove as many shrimp as possible into my cheeks in order to get some kind of protein into my system, a producer asked me to appear on a TV show that was a sort-of grown-up version of College Bowl.

The show was called "Mastermind" and was very popular in Britain at the time.

You sat under a spotlight on a stage and an announcer fired questions at you concerning a special subject and what was vaguely titled "general knowledge." Read More

June 17, 2009

Is Possible to be a Good Daughter?

You know what it's like dealing with a loved one who's very sick?

It's like taking somebody to the train station where you're supposed to drop them off, say your fondest farewells, and wave goodbye from the platform as they head out on the next part of their journey.

You think you know what's going to happen.

But you don't. Read More

June 15, 2009

Mistress Follow-Up

All right, I'll admit it. The mistress joke made me laugh.

Don't hate me.

It's not like it's my favorite joke in the whole world.

And I certainly know better than to defend the politics of it.

But simply because the politics of the jokes are indefensible doesn't mean the joke itself is not funny.

That's part of the problem with jokes. Read More

June 9, 2009

"That's Our Mistress!" and a Question

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when
this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives
the husband a big french kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks
away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress...." Read More

June 1, 2009

Do Ambitious Women Scare You?

Many young women are still instructed to imagine themselves only in mid-level careers because if they aim higher, they might not reach their goal.

Okay...and so what happens if you don't reach your first goal? You try something else. You redirect your ambitions.

Let me tell you a secret: the "misery of failure" is a story circulated by those in power in order to keep others out of it.

It's Not That I'm Bitter . . .: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World

I'm with Stupid: One Man. One Woman. 10,000 Years of Misunderstanding Between the Sexes Cleared Right Up

Babes in Boyland: A Personal History of Co-Education in the Ivy League

Don't Tell Mama!: The Penguin Book of Italian American Writing

Personality Basics

Questions of personality have vexed mankind from the dawn of personhood: can people change? How do others perceive me? What is the difference between normal and pathological behavior? One's personality is so pervasive and all-important that it presents a clinical paradox of sorts: it is hard to assess our own personality, impossible to overlook that of others.

Go to the Personality Basics page for more on Personality including:

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