but she still conquers.

I remember her comments on what Janeway said about the powers of the weak, which is that they are some of the most powerful and hidden forces around. I have found that to be true in both my person and work life. I used to be able to stand it but now it also makes me crazy.

Those "delicate flowers" (and I know a few) need a good swift smack of reality upside their heads...

Excellent piece, as always, Gina!

I suspect the DF is horrible in bed, too. Just saying.

Hm, I am usually a fan of Gina's work, but I couldn't help but furrow my brow at some of the things that were said in this article. Some descriptors of this "DF" were very vague, and when trying to think of someone in my life who fits this description, I found it rather difficult.

And I have to wonder: Who was it exactly that made her so darn bitter towards those who seem to just have more passive traits, or may not realize their more independent potential? It seems to me also that if a "DF" really does exist, she may have underlying issues such as a troubled past, social or general anxiety, or masked depression.

I have to agree with Anonymous. I don't know anyone in my life with those exact DF traits, they almost seem too ridiculous and blown out of proportion. I get the gist of the DF, but I think that most are a weaker version of what Gina portrays. I think Anonymous is spot on with the 'underlying issues' such as depression or anxiety.

As much as I loathe those Damsel in Distress types, I feel that you were completely off the mark, although this is more or less because several of the traits you brought up (being allergic to nickel in jewelry, fear of flying) happen to reflect my own traits. I am—and I'm sure many of my friends and colleagues would agree—one of the strongest, most self-sufficient women I know; pardon me for having an allergy to nickel that causes me to break out in hives upon wearing cheap bangles or even having my lower belly rub against the button on the inside of my jeans. I didn't choose to be "weak" in that sense. Don't mistake my delicate skin for a delicate personality.

I'd also like to add that a fear of flying is markedly uniform among the majority of people, both men and women. As a matter of fact, the reason why this prospect instills so much dread in us is because of the lack of control we feel in an environment like that. If these DFs long to be taken care of, then they wouldn't fret about the flight—rather, they'd naively trust that the pilot is in total control and would simply go with the flow, and their biggest problem would be not getting enough attention from the flight attendants. And also, I fail to see how getting drunk on a plane—or anywhere else—contributes to personal strength and independence. If anything, it’d just make me look like a stupid floozy. Or is it that real, powerful women are able to avoid the less appealing aspects of inebriation (drunken rambling, nausea, passing out, loss of inhibitions, decline in fine-motor skills, etc)?

But perhaps I'm being too literal... It was a coincidence that you happened to pick those two bits to stick in the DF's profile, but enough to get me touchy. I don't appreciate being grouped together with those types, especially over legitimate medical complaints and genetically predisposed anxiety disorders that are out of my control. It seemed to me like you were picking on things that held no bearing over what truly constitutes a “Delicate Flower.”

Methinks some people are protesting too much. They've never met someone matching Barreca's description of a delicate Flower? No one ever broke a date (with the women who wrote in) to wait for a boy's call; no one ever ditched you at a party, during the summer, in the school hallway, for a guy? That same girl who ditched her friends--she never came running back, tearful and sorry, to her girlfriends, until the next guy came along? You never met a woman who, as someone comments, is clearly as manipulative as hell but convinces men she's passive and weak?

That's like saying you never saw PARENT TRAP. That Dennis Quad's girlfriend seemed entirely unfamiliar.

As to the guys who've never met a DF. That's all the more proof that you have, and were fooled by the act. Thank Barreca for tips on how to know the next time.