I think confession should be distinguished from the urge to dump (a fairly self involved pursuit of relief from guilt that often harms someone else). Maybe that's what makes the Catholic confessional and the secular confessional (therapy, of course) so attractive. Some uninvolved party hears it all and might even help decide the proper way to make amends and even let it go.

Confessional talk show appearances and books: with few exceptions, nothing more than self exploitation. After the first few thrillers, haven't they all gotten to be a bit of a yawn?

It is interesting how acceptable "Recovering Catholic" is as a term of art by the learned cognoscenti. Catholicism as Pathology - well of course! Everyone I know from Boston to New York agrees with me!

I expect to see that newly designated psychic affliction listed in DSM V.

So tell me though, are people who have fallen away from other religious traditions similarly "Recovering"?

Hmmm? "A Recovering Jew Wants to Confess" How would that sound as a PT Blog headline?

As a practicing Crossback/Mackerel-snapper, I confess I really loved this piece. Part of the impact of confession is magical thinking, as in "If I speak these terrible things, they will be released from my conscience, and all will be loosened." Part of it is our hope that some parental figure (which in adult life can include lovers) will say, after hearing us confess to rodent-whipping, "Look, it's OK." And part is physical: it takes a lot of physical and psychic energy to keep all this stuff bottled up.

The only thing not explored is perhaps the most obvious thing: that all of us have things we hide and deny, and thus all of us have stuff to confess. Except for me. I confess I am too conventional and boring. I stole a lollipop in fourth grade. Swell.

On some level we all know that no person is perfect and that most of us have some dark secrets we haul around with us while smiling out at the world. Still, I believe we need assurance of our normality; a pat on the back that tells us that our burdens are no more haneous than the ones our neighbors carry. This may be the main reason we hang around people we consider to be like us. Sure having similiar interests and shared stories is grand but on a deeper level we feel that these people relate to our flaws and accept us anyway. My boyfriend and I always joke in the voice of a jaded Vietnam veteren, "I've seen some things man." It's said in jest but is truely a confession of our flaws and brings us both a sigh of relief. It's a perfect union of imperfect souls.

Steve M: I think "A Recovering Jew Wants to Confess" would be a fine title if it were written by a recovering Jew. Barreca is a recovering Catholic. What's your point?

I wonder if part of the need to confess only to certain people is about our sense of emotional safety with that other person. I wonder if women would tell their secrets to their man if he were able to remain nonjudgmental and supportive even when the confession involved hurting him? Isn't that ability to remain emotionally safe for others more common in the general make up of women,(gennerally speaking of course).
In the conffessional there is emotional safety built into the task itself: one person confesses, the other one listens without a lot of interaction.
I wonder if more of us learned to listen, would more of us dare to tell our secrets?

It's very coincidental that I dreamt last night of going to confession. My confession dream dealt with me having to confess that I didn't go to confession enough, which made me feel guilty both in my dream and in real life. People could probably go to town with my confession dream and question whether I am currently dealing with guilt, and I suppose my response would be, well yeah. Is there anyone who can make it through a week without feeling guilty about something? And, when it comes to confessing to others, I've realized it depends on the person. To some, I will confess to one friend my guilt for eating that second sundae and to others my guilt over not returning phone calls. Thinking of you during your surgery!

"Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution."
G.K. Chesterton

Chesterton's comment perhaps also applies to other forms of therapy. Guilt is a perfectly normal and healthy emotion as psychologists on the psycho-dynamic spectrum such as Klein and Erikson have recognized. As readers interested in psychology we may see nothing wrong with healthily expressed anger or sexual desire, so why with healthily expressed guilt? If you feel the need for the sacrament of Confession, go ahead, you have nothing to lose but your chains!