Please, international designers and clothing manufacturers, permit me to hand over my hard-earned money in exchange for outfits that look good, wear well, and don't make me appear as if I am trying to pass for twenty-five, or eighteen, or-god forbid-twelve.
Would somebody, somewhere, please start making clothes women my age want to buy?
We're a big consumer market share and we are just waiting to fling our money at those who provide garments with the right cut and drape.
Especially if you don't make any bad puns involving the word "big."
Look, you wouldn't even have to admit you're doing it to gather in dumpsters full of dollar bills; you could even tell yourself you're doing it to jumpstart the economy. You'd be celebrated equally by members of NOW, the AARP, and the AAUW, as well as by members of NASDAQ and the NYSE and readers of the WSJ.
Imagine: everyone would get together and build a monument to The Well-Dressed Woman and she'd be wearing YOUR design. Since the design would be timeless, you'd always look as good as she-and we-would.
I am tired of living in the World of Unmatched Black Separates, as if I am waiting to be inducted into a religious order or about to proceed directly to a funeral. I am tired of living in the World of The Unflattering Cowl Neckline. I hate the new world of the Garments that Make You Look Pregnant Even When You Are Too Old to BE Pregnant.