Singletons

Thanks for posting about this. I was terrorized by my older sibling until I was 21, including suffocation, threatened with weapons, etc. I began my adult with many issues that confused and ashamed me. When I finally got into therapy, I was shocked to find that my symptoms indicated I had post-traumatic stress disorder. It has taken me many years of therapy to begin to recover from what my sibling did to me, and my family still sees me as 'harboring a grudge' because I avoid this person. It's a pity that whatever pushed him to abuse me was never addressed, and that my own safety was dismissed.

I am Daddy to 10 children ages 32 to 14, mine, hers, and ours.

My stepson was a dangerous criminal thug ALL THE TIME. The only thing he used his brain for was to think of EVIL all the time. The only time he wasn't was when he was on Zyprexa and then he was merely Lazy and useless. Absolutely no drive or intention of making anything of himself.

In 1999, CPS accused me of “mental injury” to him. This was after he had done so many criminal acts that the town passed an Ordinace just for me- making me responsible for every incident up to $2500.

The insane CPS witch said the entire family needed "therapy" to learn how to get along with HIM. My wife said "EVEN THE BABIES NEED TO LEARN HOW TO GET ALONG WITH HIM?? Seems like HE needs to learn how to get along with US!"

Six months of CPS torture later, I learned the accusation was because I TALKED to the kid about his “bad decisions”. I filed a Grievance, the case was SHUT DOWN, and the Supervisor profusely apologized to me. But Leonard was PO'ed FOREVER, and co-founded American Family Rights Association.

Just recently, our youngest daughters have been talking with a "counselor" and revealed that the thug had MOLESTED them during the time CPS was busy shoving the thug up our... noses.

And the girls are mad at ME for "allowing it to happen". They said they kept the molestations secret because they KNEW everybody would take the useless THUG's side.

CPS deserves full credit for this.

Today, this "kid" is 27 years old, has never produced 10 minutes of work, spends more time in jail than out. He doesn't have to work, and he is not going to. He is fulfilling his role in this insane society as a consumer of government "services".

Communism has worked well for him.

Leonard Henderson, co-founder
American Family Rights Association
http://familyrights.us
"Until Every Child Comes Home" ©
"The Voice of America's Families" ©

See-

How Dr. Spock destroyed America
January 27, 2009
By Reb Bradley © 2009
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=87179

And just for jollies, see my own essay on the corruption and collusion of the Mental Illness industry-

http://familyrights.us/educate/pop/index.html

And-
http://familyrights.us/educate/spanking/index.html

And-
http://familyrights.us/educate/spanking/whats_going_on.html

And-
http://familyrights.us/psych/MMPI/

Anyone as PI**ED OFF as I am about it?

"We assume that humanism will take the path of social and mental hygiene and discourage sentimental and unreal hopes and wishful thinking." - The Humanist Manifesto I of 1933, Eleventh Point.

Leonard Henderson, co-founder
American Family Rights Association
http://familyrights.us
"Until Every Child Comes Home" ©
"The Voice of America's Families" ©

Leonard, knowing you as well as I do by being on multiple groups with you and hopefully a valued member of AFRA, I have something to say here about your thug son. Now, 10 children plus 2 parents = 12, unless my math is worse than I thought. Minus the thug, that leaves 11 people who are wrong and ONE person who everyone has to learn to love, accept, blah blah blah although the only thing he shares with you all is misery. He ruined his siblings lives, your lives, I'm sure it damaged your relationship with your wife as she probably felt pulled in two, three or even 10 different directions. Not every child is warm, sweet and loving. I believe that there are just some children who are born bad. They get the same love, attention, discipline, etc. as their siblings but they have no empathy, no compassion, no drive, no desire to make something of themselves, etc. The others turn out great but because of that one child, CPS is going to label YOU as abusive. My 12 year old daughter called me a bitch to my face. I popped her in the mouth. I didn't leave a mark but she wanted to call CPS on me for abusing her physically. I told her fine, go ahead, and then I'm calling the police on her for verbally and emotionally abusing me, in MY house, wearing clothes I bought, eating food I cooked, etc.

The bottom line is, our children can be horrible brats and useless human beings but it's always our fault. One of my dearest friends has a daughter just like that. I know this woman raised her children right but this woman is worthless now and a drain on society. She bore 2 children who are just like her. Some children cannot be helped. Therapy, love, CPS, juvenile detention, boot camp, whatever, nothing is going to change it.

It just kills me that you're a fine, outstanding parent to 9 wonderful children but because of the actions of that one, your life was destroyed. Parents have no power in the home anymore. Maybe 50 years ago this man would have turned out differently cos parents weren't scared to properly discipline their children (yeah, I'm talking about spanking here) when they acted like idiots. No abuse, just punishment for acting the fool. Our society supports laziness as "individualism." Screw that and let's start raising children who will support our resources, not drain them.

Sorry this is so long and I hope it makes sense. I tried to condense it as much as possible.

Dr. Newman, you really touched a nerve! Thank you for having the courage to publish this article. I can see from the fervent postings that many people are emotional about this issue. I was lucky enough to have siblings that followed me around like baby ducks, copying everything I did. I have many memories of trying to do something, or read something, and having a little head in my way trying to watch what I was doing.

When we hear about child abuse, we rarely think of sibling abuse. This article brought to light a very important area of abuse, and helplful information for parents. Any suspicions should not be overlooked or ignored. It might be helpful to get some family counseling or children therapy if sibling rivalry is causing any fear, anger, or harm in sibling and family relationships.

Thank you for underscoring one of the major points of my post:
"...suspicions should not be overlooked or ignored." Paying attention to sibling interaction is a critical part of parenting.

Rescources for help are always appreciated.

People need to teach their kids to give the same respect that they recieve. If your kid is warning you that their sibling is mistreating them, they most likely are. It's the parents responsibilty to displine the aggressor and teach them to show respect, not sit on their ass and tell the victim "you go tell him that i said" like my parents did. By not disciplining them the aggressor will learn that it's ok to harm their siblings and as time goes on will get worse. I hope that society will wake up one day and stop neglecting their kids.

In my new book ,Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Siblings, Relationships, New Horizon Press ,I divide brother and sisters relationship into 5 groups. The last three can have what I call an " I Hate You” story" and the last one ,irate siblings, usually means that story involved violence.
The first murder in the bible is Cain and Abel. Siblings can commit violent acts. The trick is getting the” I Hate You” story to the surface then getting to it's roots- which are usually family rules roles and circumstances. Siblings can forgive each other. The siblings whose relationship involves violence should turn to an LCSW, MFT or skilled mental health professional to help unearth the” I Hate You “story and help the siblings move toward forgiveness and self care.
Cathy Jo Cress
http://momlovesyoubest.wordpress.com/