Singletons

The world of only children

Susan Newman is a social psychologist and author. Her books include Parenting an Only Child and The Book of NO. See full bio

September 14, 2008, Behavioral Economics

Comments on "Children Are Big Ticket Items"

Children Are Big Ticket Items

By Susan Newman, Ph.D. on September 14, 2008 in Singletons

Children are big ticket items (eventually wanting big ticket items). We all agree that you can't put a price tag on children, yet the expense of raising them gives many couples reason to reconsider if, when, and how many. From the nursery to college graduation, parents are looking at spending a bundle. Rocketing costs are fueling the trend toward one-child families. Read More

I've recently heard a

Submitted by Nick on September 14, 2008 - 5:48pm.

I've recently heard a comment from someone who said that he didn't feel obligated to his parents in any way because he didn't ask for their help.

I also used to think this way, until I've spent some time among poor rice-farming villagers in north-east Thailand. Many families there are still having many children despite their poverty.

They teach their children from a very young age that it will be their duty to take care of their parents when they grow up. And these children start helping their parents with money and work, even before their parents are old and unable to work.

When children are an economic liability without any benefit at all. Then it doesn't make much sense to have children, even when you can afford to have them.

But when children are an investment that will benefit you in the future. Then being poor is an extra incentive to have more children.

And one more thing I'd like

Submitted by Nick on September 15, 2008 - 6:21am.

And one more thing I'd like to add to my above comment. Farm work has little to do with the reason why poor villagers in rural Thailand keep having children. Many of their children go to work in Bangkok and other towns and cities, instead of doing farm work. But virtually all of these children keep sending money back home to help their parents. Because these children have been raised to believe that helping their parents is the right thing to do.

Such supportive relationships between children and parents don't exist in the West because western governments have made redundant the role of children in society through various government social programs. Instead of raising children to help them in hard times and in old age. People hope to get that kind of help from their government.

many children had by couples in Third World countries

Submitted by mary on July 22, 2009 - 10:03am.

Has it occured to you that many of these multiple child families have no knowledge of or access to birth control methods?

In my opinion children are not to be viewed as emotional slaves to be made to feel obligated to support their parents except in extremist conditions. What are you really trying to say--that children are just easily acquired annunities?

We need a paradigm shift

Submitted by One of the Millions of Jennifers on September 15, 2008 - 9:25pm.

I'm really enjoying your thought-provoking articles.

Multiple children would be more affordable if people reigned in their spending. Not only the spending on their children, but spending in general. People are sacrificing having children for big houses, new cars, vacations, home renos, manicures, lattes, big screen TVs, etc. (The environment is also being sacrificed by this rampant consumerism.) It needs to become embarrassing to be too much of a consumer (which I think is just beginning to happen e.g. I think it has become embarrassing to be driving a huge SUV.)

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Trend to one child families

Submitted by mary browning on February 9, 2009 - 10:17am.

You only have to look back on what happened in the Great Depression. My brother was planned and born in 1935 and I, unplanned for, came in 1937. My parents were relatively comfortable financially, as my father owned a pharmacy.

If you look at the demography of that period, you will see that people realized that they simply couldn't afford to support many children and give them a good start in life, even though birth control methods available at the time were no way as good as they are now.

People are just using common sense. Raising children well is very expensive, both of money and effort.

They are not a hedge against your own old age needs, either, as the way things are being done now, they themselves will have to work all the time to bear the debt burden that we will be putting on their generation.

Mary, in Miami Beach

Hpefully, not the Great Depression...

Submitted by Susan Newman, Ph.D. on February 21, 2009 - 6:37pm.

...yet so many people are considering the economic downturn and delaying having babies. Your point is well taken: our children should not be viewed as "sure things" when it comes to taking care of their parents. For more, on this topic, see my post, "Is Having Babies Recession-Proof."

Thank you for comment, Mary.